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Monday morning (Oct. 22) I called the Doctor and told him I didn't want to wait
for it pass on it's own and I wanted to have a D&C either that day or the next
at the latest. They rushed me in for the D&C that afternoon. Brian was by my
side the whole time.
We were lucky enough for Brian to be able to take a few days off work after the
surgery to take care of me, but he's gone back to work now. The Doctor has
given me some sedatives but it doesn't seem to be helping very much. I am fine
as long as Brian is home with me. When he's not I am going a million miles a
minutes until I hyper-ventilate and then I lay down and cry. I've been cleaning
and organizing and baking, basically anything to keep my mind off of it. I've
been off work since that Friday and I don't feel like I'm ready to go back yet.
My boss has been really good about me taking the time off and has said to take
as much time as I need. I'm starting to feel almost like I'm taking advantage
of it, but I just can't find it in me to face so many people that knew that we
were expecting.
I'm having a really hard time getting over this and think that I may need
someone to talk to about it. I am terrified to leave the house without Brian
incase I run into someone that asks me about it, or how the baby is doing. I
can't go places where I might see people I know and all I really want to do is
stay home right now.