*barge* Thoughts for you...m

*barge* Thoughts for you...m
Posted by JulieATL on 17:34 2/28/2008:
In Reply to: I'm wondering if my marriage will survive the m/c from last year posted by mikic on 16:38 2/21/2008:

I am so, so sorry for your loss and saddened to hear how this is affecting your relationship. Though I don't have personal experience with loss, I do have experience with effects of IF stress on the marriage. You know how you said "it feels like he just doesn't get it?" Well, he really doesn't. Not that he's not supportive or understanding, but he CAN'T get it. He had a loss too, but the effect on a woman is completely different from a man. We are going through this physically as well and have constant reminders of what happened because we get AF, we get hormonal, we bleed, we get cramps, and we also think a lot more about the "what-if's" and stare at baby clothes, come across old dr. appt cards from when we had hope and all these things just pile up. And though they were sad, too, they can often move on and alter their thinking way before we can.

My thoughts for you since it's been a year and your marriage is sooooo stressed, is to get counseling. Individual counseling for you would be wonderful to help with your personal struggle and if dh is open to it, couples counseling would be ideal to save the marriage. You're both frustrated and not understanding each other.

I'd also suggest you post a note to Liz on the Emotional Issues expert board. She has the most healing, loving, understanding, insightful words I have ever read and she is so able to capture what you're saying and help you gain further understanding.

All the best to you,
Julie

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