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Thread: Hi - Just introducing myself.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    25

    Default Hi - Just introducing myself.

    I'm Cyndi, I'm 29, married, and have had 3 miscarriages this year. I get pregnant easily but haven't had a live birth yet - just heartbreak. The last 2 losses were explained by random chromosome problems so my official diagnosis is "bad luck" and unfortunatley that's not treatable.

    So we're thinking fo trying again in antoehr month or so...it's been 3 months since my 3rd loss. Glad to find this board!

    Visit my recurrent miscarriage blog - http://jozwiakbaby.blogspot.com

  2. #2
    BamBam is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    1,391

    Default Hi, I'm not ttc, but I happened to be checking some new boards!(M)

    New format that is....

    Anyway, I'm sorry about your miscarriages. With 3 miscarriages in a row, I hope you are seeing an RE who has experience with repeat miscarriages. My RE used to say to me that one miscarriage is chance, 2 is not. He did a lot of testing after only 2 miscarriages.

    Anyway, the big things to check are genetic issues between you and your significant, since you mentioned the chromosomal issues. And then look at immune issues. I am surprised at how many women have immune issues, and go through so many miscarriages to find that a baby aspirin or shots of blood thinners (Heparin for example) work the first time.

    Just my thoughts! I hope you have a successful pregnancy this next time around, but it can't hurt to check all these things out next time around.

    BTW, were your losses early or later term (what gestational age)?

    Hugs, and best of luck!

    Terri

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,070

    Default

    I'm so sorry about your losses, Cyndi. It's such a strange and isolating pain... ((((hugs))))) to you.

    I agree with Terri and hope that you have found a good RE in your area. It is so validating to finally have someone *listen* and not say, "these things happen."

    more hugs!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,070

    Default

    Cyndi, I just went and read your blog a bit. I see that you saw Dr. Coulam. She is really wonderful. I'm glad you are seeing an RE now. I'm not sure that I know your doc, but Dr. Coulam did long distance consulting w/my sister in California and it made all the difference in her treatment.

    Just sending more hugs and support as you travel this path.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    32

    Default hello Cyndi

    I just read your blog and it has me in tears. It is reassuring that others have similar thoughts and feelings after M/C because, I have to say, people that have not had a m/c and IF sure don't get it. I had my third m/c last week. Unlike you, I do have a child (16 months), and I know that I am so, so lucky. However, I feel even more isolated this time than with my other two m/c (they were prior to DS).

    Like you, when it actually sunk in that I had a low chance of ever having a child I was gripped with terror. Total shock. Anger. Feeling like I could never be happy again. It took 6 years to finally get one to stick. The pain after the first two m/c was unbearable. I couldn't even discuss it with my husband, I felt like such a failure. But I could go to blogs, or forum and listen to the stories of others and eventually, time dulled some of the pain.
    After DS, it took only 9mo of trying (remember it took 6 YEARS last time, 9 months was pretty cool) and, with the help of IUI, I was actually pregnant again. SO Happy! I had somehow convinced myself that my body had this whole preg thing figured out and I had absolutely no fear as I dutifully went for my Beta's. When the number dropped, I was dumbstruck. I still am. I am sick. I can't do this twice. Even though the reward at the end is potentially miraculous and wonderful, I just can't see how I can do it. It is worse this time as no one knows except DH and my parents and all they say is "at least you have DS" and I know that they are tired of me being sad/obsessed/sad. I think DH would like to throw the towel in now and sometimes I think he is right, but then I get so mad. Why can't I have 2 children? Why can't DS have a sibling? Why can everyone else have as many as they want, but I am "greedy" and "at least I have one". My poverty stricken, single mom, unemployed, alcoholic sister-in-law has FIVE!!!!! So what makes me so horrible to want 2?

    Thanks for your blog, it has helped me.

    Cheryl

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    25

    Default

    Actually Dr. Coulam won't see me because I don't have unexplained losses - they've been explained by the chromosome issues. We're had our karoptying done and we're both OK so it's just been bad luck. I also had the clomid challenge test and passed with flying colors so my eggs are likely ok too. I've seen 3 RE's and all but the last one turned me away. They're not willing to do the entire RPL panel - the last one just agreed to the Clomid Challenge test but nothing else. It's discouraging to be diagnosed with "bad luck" but it is what it is.

    Thanks for the reply - take care!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    19

    Default Can I join you all?

    Hi! I am relatively new to this site (been stopping by for a week or so) and finally am on the forums. After reading your posts I feel like there are some kindred spirits out there. I m/c after my first ivf. in July and I feel like its now time to start talking about it again. Cyndi, so sorry to hear of your loss and I am sending good thoughts and hugs your way. "Bad Luck" is not a good enough answer in my opinion and glad to hear you are still hopeful. I agree with everyone in that a great Doc can make the best of a very painful situation. Good luck to you-

    Amber

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1

    Default New to the forum

    Hi,
    My Name is Diane, I have had two miscarriages in the past six months. Does anyone else feel like they are pretending all the time? I feel like I pretend to be happy constantly and the only two people I am allowed to be sad around are my counselor and my husband.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    41

    Default =(

    I am sorry to hear about your loses. I two have lost two fetus'. I found that the best thing for me was to concentrate on a hobby/project so that I did not dwell on the fact that I was having troublr ttc.

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