I have a few concerns with submitting my application and was wondering if anyone had gone through similar situations or had any input. I am worried that any of these things would disqualify us and would like opinions.
The first is that my husband has a child from a previous relationship, but we never see him because he lives across the country and the birth mother has done everything in her power to make it so his son doesn't want to visit (she is bitter that my husband wanted to end the relationship after she cheated on him). How do I explain this and would we be disqualified because he already has a biological child even though we don't get to be parents to him and I don't have any children of my own?
Ok, the second thing is that I have a vested balance of $12,000 in my 401k and I'm wondering if I'm expected to use that up before I'm deemed eligible to apply for the scholarship program? I have taken out loans on it for IUI treatments so the real balance is $8,000 right now and after taxes on an early distribution there would not be enough left for IVF treatment. We have no other savings since treatments have eaten it all up. Should I explain this in my personal statement?
And finally, is there a certain amount of treatments one must have to have gone through before they are eligible? I have done 2 rounds of Clomid alone and 2 rounds of Clomid plus IUI (fertility problems are 1 blocked tube plus low sperm count). Does the letter from my doctor suffice in taking care of this part?
I'm sorry I know this is a lot of questions, but if I send in my application I just want to make sure we have the best chance possible since you only get to apply once ever. Thanks for your help.
Wow I didn't realize you got to apply once in your lifetime. Obviously I misunderstood. I thought it was you could apply but you had to keep reapplying. Im a dunce.
As far as the child is concerned, it says that rarely they give cycles to people that already have children, which you don't. So I would think positive and think you're probably a rare case. Yes I would explain that fully in my statement.
401K--I didn't write anything about mine except in my financial statement, and even then I only wrote the amount. As it stands mine is only $1600 and I can't draw it out anyway. My husbands was quite a bit more and I didn't explain anything about his either, though now I'm 2nd guessing myself. He can't draw his out and retire with benefits and if we didn't have his insurance I'd be up a creek without a paddle. So yeah if I were you I would make a note of it. You will already have the loan on your financial statement so maybe just denote there it was against your retirement. Borrowing against your retirement is MAJOR. Financially speaking, in my personal opinion, it is not a good idea. There again I can't so if I could I probably would have at this point.
As far as certain number of treatments--as long as the doctors letter said you have medical necessity for IVF then its ok. I'm still doing IUIs and my drs didn't want me to do them to start with. But I refuse to sit here and twiddle my thumbs. We tried naturally over the holidays so we could save up the money for another insemination. I go tomorrow for my ultrasound to see if the Clomid worked. Also you've already taken Clomid 4 times and my dr. cut me off at 5 (this was my 5th time). So I wouldn't worry about that end of things. This is all just my opinion. Maybe someone else will psot and give a different aspect of things (or not since I think you're o.k.) Hope this helps ease your fears!
Tell me more about this one time ever application.
Thanks for your thoughts!! I don't feel so panicky about applying now. I was surprised that the next deadline came up so soon, March 7th, I thought for sure I would have to wait three or four months after the February 16th deadline.
I'm not totally positive about the once in a lifetime applying, that was just my perception of the instructions and I could be wrong. The way it sounded to me was that you could apply once (which could really mean anything) and that they keep your application for a certain period of time before destroying. Hopefully someone else will have some input on this because it is really stressing me out that I might only get to apply once ever. If not I will probably email INCIID to find out.
I was surprised when I saw the March 7th deadline, too. I'm wondering if that was an extension of the February deadline? Just a thought. You'll find out when you mail it and get the email saying they received it. If it says the board meets at the end of March you got it in this time!
If anyone is reading this and knows the amount of time(s) you can apply, please post it!
Maybe someone will let us know, Annette. You said you're waiting on the letter from your dr. to send in the application, right?
Yes, all I need is the letter from my doctor. I called the office this morning and have yet to hear back. I can't see any reason why she wouldn't give me a letter, just a bit paranoid until I get it though!
I think I am going to email INCIID right now just to have some peace of mind about how many times you can apply, I am really curious about that now.
Hopefully you will get the letter soon. That was actually one of thie things I wasn't worried about (probably the only thing) When you get looked at that bluntly and hear you HAVE to have IVF to get pregnant, numbs you a little bit I suppose. Maybe the office will call you tomorrow to give you the status on it if nothing else.
Let me know if you get a reply about the app times!
If you haven't seen this already go to Inciid' home page, on the left side click Make a Dream Come True, then click on Angi and George's story. This should erase your doubt about your husband having a child from a previous marriage. They have a child together and want a genetic sibling for her. I do not know the circumstances behind their story, as it does not give any detail of their situation. It was just posted yesterday so maybe they will add more to it! Thought it might make your day!
You rock! Thanks for letting me know about the story, I will go read it right now. Hey, did you include a picture with your application? I read somewhere on the application instructions that a picture can be sent and I'm wondering if I should do that.
P.S. I got the letter from my doctor yesterday - YAY!
Also, I haven't heard back from INCIID about the number of times we can apply.
I didn't. I don't have any particular reason why. Just didn't. And we had just had one made in December to give our families for Christmas. If you get selected you have to submit one so just go with your gut on that one!