Devasted that I'm not covered

[darkandthewild]

Hello everyone,

I made an appointment for a fertility center for next week. I'm in a same-sex relationship and wanted to have AI though an anonymous sperm donor.
I received a voicemail from the center that my provider (United Healthcare) refuses to cover any of my services. Evidently, they won't cover infertility but will cover reproductive services.
I haven't even been seen for a consultation yet. What I don't get is first- why won't they even cover a consultation? The center states they accept UHC.
Second, my company is a big gay rights supporter. It upsets me that they would choose a healthcare provider which has no interest in helping GLBT employees become parents. I can pay for a "discounted program" from UHC- $2,000 for live sperm AI and $7,000 for frozen.
My state, NJ also has some kind of mandate requiring providers with more than 50 subscribers to provide fertility care. It does, however, state that the woman must possess a condition whichs renders her unable to conceive. How does the provider know if I am infertile or not until I am first seen by the doctor?
I may be splitting hair due to being emotional right now. I feel I don't have many options left in becoming a mother without taking out a second mortgage on my house in order to do it.

Thanks,
Carolee