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Parenting Soapbox The Parenting Soapbox is for intelligent, free, open, and peaceable exchange of ideas, philosophies, and viewpoints on any parenting and/or pregnancy issues. Any material found on the board promoting hate, or for the sole purpose of inflaming an individual or population is prohibited. If you have a question email INCIID
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  #1  
Old 12-08-2008, 08:50 AM
MTR0112 MTR0112 is offline
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Default This article disgusts me...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081208...ndiawomenchild

Does it bug anyone else?
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  #2  
Old 12-08-2008, 09:11 AM
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jersey-jen jersey-jen is offline
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this is a topic probably better suited for the Parenting Soapbox, so I'm going to have it moved there for discussion.
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  #3  
Old 12-08-2008, 10:26 PM
Tonia1 Tonia1 is offline
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Default Yes...

It bugs me, too. I find it to be incredibly selfish to have children at such an advanced age. I do think there is such a thing as being too old to have children. (And yes, I do think that for men as well as women.)
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  #4  
Old 12-09-2008, 05:36 AM
freetibet freetibet is offline
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Default I think there are far worse things happening in the world

so no, this doesn't 'disgust' me.

Children being killed by their parents or partners of parents, mothers 'kidnapping' their own children to get the reward, children being neglected, children starving to death, children that die because they have no access to medical attention, children being killed in wars not to mention the treatment of women, men and other civilians in these 'wars'. Those things 'disgust' me.

Science and technology will be used by people in different ways, older women can now bear children because of the advances in reproductive technology that also help younger women bear children. It is very likely that these children will be cherished and cared for by their parents.

Very few of us have perfect lives. None of us are guaranteed to have parents after we are born. Not all children will know their bio-parents. War, poverty, sickness, accidents, divorce, etc cause children to lose their parents, it is often heartbreaking but it isn't unusual.
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  #5  
Old 12-09-2008, 05:49 AM
freetibet freetibet is offline
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Default have a read of this in Lisbon - awaiting verdict

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...t-1058029.html

Carlos Silvino, known as Bibi, a former driver and gardener at Lisbon's Casa Pia orphanage, has already admitted some 100 cases of sexual abuse against children, two counts of aggravated rape, as well as procuring minors for wealthy clients, a total of more than 600 crimes.
The prosecutor, Joao Aibeo, also accuses Portugal's former top TV presenter and media celebrity Carlos Cruz, and a high-society doctor who worked at Casa Pia, Joao Ferreira Diniz, of having sexually abused children.
The other defendants are Portugal's former ambassador to South Africa, Jorge Ritto; a lawyer, Hugo Marcial; Gertrudes Nunes, the owner of a country house in Elvas, south-east Portugal, where victims say they were forced into sex parties, and Casa Pia's former assistant director Manuel Abrantes.
The scandal broke in 2002 when the mother of a former inmate told a newspaper that orphanage staff had abused her son. Evidence quickly emerged that up to 100 children in state care had suffered decades of sexual abuse while senior politicians turned a blind eye.

(see link for the rest of the article if you can stomach it)
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  #6  
Old 12-09-2008, 09:38 AM
Tonia1 Tonia1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freetibet View Post
so no, this doesn't 'disgust' me.

Children being killed by their parents or partners of parents, mothers 'kidnapping' their own children to get the reward, children being neglected, children starving to death, children that die because they have no access to medical attention, children being killed in wars not to mention the treatment of women, men and other civilians in these 'wars'. Those things 'disgust' me.

Science and technology will be used by people in different ways, older women can now bear children because of the advances in reproductive technology that also help younger women bear children. It is very likely that these children will be cherished and cared for by their parents.

Very few of us have perfect lives. None of us are guaranteed to have parents after we are born. Not all children will know their bio-parents. War, poverty, sickness, accidents, divorce, etc cause children to lose their parents, it is often heartbreaking but it isn't unusual.

Of course, there are worse things, but that doesn't make this right. Maybe "disgust" is a strong word, but I think it is pretty awful to have a baby knowing there is a strong possibility you won't be around to raise it. I think that is wrong. They may be "cherished and cared for", but for how long? Then what happens to them when their parents die or are no longer able to care for them due to their old age?
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Old 12-09-2008, 04:46 PM
MTR0112 MTR0112 is offline
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Default Yes Disgust was the wrong word....

There are definitely FAR worse things in the world. There are just so many things WRONG with this.. doing fertility at such an advanced age, it gives fertility treatments a bad name. People tend to lob onto to the negative with IVF, and this is part of the reason why.
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  #8  
Old 12-10-2008, 12:57 PM
freetibet freetibet is offline
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Originally Posted by Tonia1 View Post
Of course, there are worse things, but that doesn't make this right. Maybe "disgust" is a strong word, but I think it is pretty awful to have a baby knowing there is a strong possibility you won't be around to raise it. I think that is wrong. They may be "cherished and cared for", but for how long? Then what happens to them when their parents die or are no longer able to care for them due to their old age?
Life happens! just like when 'young' parents die. No one has perfect parents. Some parents die young and leave g'parents to raise their children, some young parents can't cope and leave it to g'parents to raise their children, some parents divorce and children lose contact with one or the other parent because of time or distance or alienation and the other parent may or may not be able to cope and children get shuffled here there and the other place, and on and on. Some young parents are addicts to one thing or another. I don't think the children are better or worse off just by having parents that are alive. There's more to parenting than just being alive. Some grandparents do more good for kids than their parents ever do, despite their age and despite the fact that they will die while their g'children are young.
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  #9  
Old 12-10-2008, 01:05 PM
freetibet freetibet is offline
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Default right or wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonia1 View Post
Of course, there are worse things, but that doesn't make this right. Maybe "disgust" is a strong word, but I think it is pretty awful to have a baby knowing there is a strong possibility you won't be around to raise it. I think that is wrong. They may be "cherished and cared for", but for how long? Then what happens to them when their parents die or are no longer able to care for them due to their old age?
my long reply just disappeared. edited to say: now it has reappeared - good grief.

Life happens when parents die, young or old. Youth doesn't ensure that parents will be around for their children. Often times young parents dump the kids on the grandparents while they sort their lives out due to addiction, lack of employment, sickness, or no desire to parent children. Their are many g'parents that 'parent' their g'children. That isn't right.

None of us knows if we will be here to raise our children. Not one of us knows that.

Is it wrong for drug addicts to have children? Is it right for people that cannot provide for themselves, much less their children to have them?

If we are going to proclaim right and wrong about who has children then I think there will be a long list of people that shouldn't have children.
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Old 12-10-2008, 02:10 PM
Tonia1 Tonia1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freetibet View Post
my long reply just disappeared. edited to say: now it has reappeared - good grief.

Life happens when parents die, young or old. Youth doesn't ensure that parents will be around for their children. Often times young parents dump the kids on the grandparents while they sort their lives out due to addiction, lack of employment, sickness, or no desire to parent children. Their are many g'parents that 'parent' their g'children. That isn't right.

None of us knows if we will be here to raise our children. Not one of us knows that.

Is it wrong for drug addicts to have children? Is it right for people that cannot provide for themselves, much less their children to have them?

If we are going to proclaim right and wrong about who has children then I think there will be a long list of people that shouldn't have children.
I would say in most, if not all, of the examples you gave there is not an intention of having children just to leave them as orphans. There is an intention when you are having a baby at 70. I happen to believe that there is a right and wrong about who should have children. I'm not saying it should be legislated or anything, but there are morals and ethics in this world for a reason. Sometimes people let their own selfishness take precidence over what is "right". (Not excluding myself from that category at all. In fact none of us can, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do what is right and that we can't say that something someone does isn't right.)

Life does happen, but these people aren't having accidental pregnancies. This is not a "life happens" situation.
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