If you saw my husband and daughter and I as we sat at the diner and chatted while we indulged in a heaping plate of pancakes and bacon, you’d never know that 4 years ago, we never thought a day like this would be possible; the wonderful normalcy of family life.
In February of 2011, after 3 ½ years of marriage, we decided that we were ready to start our family. I was just about to turn 30 and everything had lined up just right with jobs, and home, and health, and finances - which seemed to be a sign that this was our time. I’d already been off of birth control since 2009 and charting my basal body temperature, so I felt sure that I knew what I was doing, and once we started trying, it would be quick and easy. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Months went by, and then a year, without success, and I was concerned. Everything was normal. My cycles were normal, our timing was good, we were both healthy. We couldn’t figure out what was taking so long...continued
My husband and I met right before I graduated high school, fell in love shortly thereafter, and married in 2003. After I graduated from nursing school in 2007, my husband and I felt it would be a good time to TTC. I thought it would be easy for us to have children. My mom, sister, and friends had found it easy to conceive. But after a few months of trying, I sensed that something was not right. My OB ran some simple blood tests, and everything checked out. I couldn’t figure out why we were not getting pregnant...continued
I never fully believed stuff like this, back Then. Sure, it sounded good.
But Now... Now I know how true it is.
The path takes you where you were always meant to be.
In this moment tonight. Rocking baby boy. He's just finished a bottle after waking up crying. He shouldn't be hungry yet, but he spent all evening crawling and pulling up and smiling a gummy grin of pride. So that left no time for much milk.
So I hold his 21 pound, solid frame firmly in my arms. Like I've said before, he just fits...continued
“Why don’t you just adopt?” I’d ask, not even attempting to mask the judgement in my voice. Yes, I was one of those people. When I heard about someone undergoing IVF, I indignantly put forth adoption as a better alternative. I was adopted, and it worked out just fine for me and my parents. I believed that people choosing IVF were hung up on their own genes or were mistaking blood for family. I admit that I took it personally—as if people who chose IVF were somehow disparaging or devaluing my non-biological relationship to my parents and sister....continued
The ghost of a red-haired child
Long before we knew we would deal with infertility, my Mom would frequently talk about what she thought our children would look like. She always guessed we'd have a child with red hair because of my fair complexion, the freckles I had as a child, and my husband's strawberry-blonde hair. My mom's sister had red hair, but no one else in our family did, so I was skeptical. But it always stuck in the back of my mind.
One day while I was waiting to catch a flight at the airport, I saw a young husband and wife who each looked uncannily like me and my husband. The wife was holding their baby on her lap but from where I was sitting, I couldn't get a good look at him/her. I thought to myself "Here is a good test to see what our child will look like!" I got up to casually walk by and check and sure enough this beautiful little newborn had red hair...continued