adoption

Sara's Story: "Why don't you just adopt?"

Mother, father and newborn baby

When I heard couples discussing their attempts at pregnancy and IVF, I said, with contempt in my voice,, “Why don’t you just adopt.”  Yes, I was one of “those people”.

I was adopted, and it worked out fine for my parents and me. I believed that people choosing IVF were self-centered and arrogant about the necessity to pass on their genes to offspring. I admit I took the attempts to create a family through treatment personally—as if people who choose IVF were somehow disparaging or devaluing my non-biological relationship to my parents and sister.

Barbara's Story: The journey was a long one

 My dearest Leon, the Journey for you was a long one and a short one all at the same time. This journal I’m writing is a little different than the one I wrote for the Penguins, the embryo we adopted, and the triplets because you are the child that we get to hold in our arms every day and love on you and kiss you every day. I cannot picture any other child in our life and any other child to call us Momma and Dada.  However, it was quite the journey to get you.  Dada and I first talked about adoption when we were engage.  We talked about how we want someday to adopted along with have children of our own but was not sure how long  it would be or how we would adopted.

NIAW 2016, Sara's Story: The path takes you where you were always meant to be

I never fully believed stuff like this, back Then. Sure, it sounded good.  But Now... Now I know how true it is. The path takes you where you were always meant to be. In this moment tonight. Rocking baby boy. He's just finished a bottle after waking up crying. He shouldn't be hungry yet, but he spent all evening crawling and pulling up and smiling a gummy grin of pride. So that left no time for much milk. 

 

So I hold his 21 pound, solid frame firmly in my arms. Like I've said before, he just fits...continued 

Words have Meaning: Respectful Adoption & Person First Language

adoption

adoptionWords Have Meaning

I first learned about the use of Respectful Adoption Language (RAL) from Patricia Irwin Johnston more than twenty years ago. RAL refers to attribution of “maximum respect, dignity responsibility and objectivity when working and communicating about adoption. The term was introduced originally by a social worker named Marietta Spencer.

The IEP Team Says They Will "Consider". . .

A schoolgirl in front of a blackboard considering all the synonyms for the word consider.

What Does "Consider" Actually Mean: More than you ever wanted to know about what the word consider means.

By Brice Palmer

As if there were not enough things about how school districts interpret various regulations in the IDEA and Section 504, the word “consider” seems to be one of the most irritating roadblocks we face during IEP and 504 meetings.

When Talk Isn’t Enough: Easing Trauma’s Lingering Shock (Link)

An Interview transcript with Bessel van der Kolk, MD conducted by Ryan Howes

Constancy and Permanence: Introduction

Photo of Holly van Gulden

This is the first in a series about "Constancy" and "Permanence" as it applies to child development. These video clips are good for any parent to watch but should be of particular interest to parents of children who were adopted from foster care or internationally. Many children have been traumatized and as a result experience attachment struggles.

Constancy: Video 1: What Makes Constancy?

Constancy: Video 1 with Holly Van Guilden

 

Go to Constancy Video 2

Constancy: Video 2: Where does it start?

Holly Van Gulden explains where constancy starts.

 

Go to Constancy Video 3

Constancy: Video 3: What is a common symptom of a lack of constancy?

Lying is the most common symptom of the lack of constancy. And it makes perfect sense for a child who has experienced loss and early trauma - Watch!

 

The video clips go from Contancy 3 to Video 5. We have not located the missing video in the sequence. If someone has a link to the video, please contact us.

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