When I heard couples discussing their attempts at pregnancy and IVF, I said, with contempt in my voice,, “Why don’t you just adopt.”  Yes, I was one of “those people”.

I was adopted, and it worked out fine for my parents and me. I believed that people choosing IVF were self-centered and arrogant about the necessity to pass on their genes to offspring. I admit I took the attempts to create a family through treatment personally—as if people who choose IVF were somehow disparaging or devaluing my non-biological relationship to my parents and sister.

 My dearest Leon, the Journey for you was a long one and a short one all at the same time. This journal I’m writing is a little different than the one I wrote for the Penguins, the embryo we adopted, and the triplets because you are the child that we get to hold in our arms every day and love on you and kiss you every day. I cannot picture any other child in our life and any other child to call us Momma and Dada.  However, it was quite the journey to get you.  Dada and I first talked about adoption when we were engage.  We talked about how we want someday to adopted along with have children of our own but was not sure how long  it would be or how we would adopted.

I never fully believed stuff like this, back Then. Sure, it sounded good.  But Now... Now I know how true it is. The path takes you where you were always meant to be. In this moment tonight. Rocking baby boy. He's just finished a bottle after waking up crying. He shouldn't be hungry yet, but he spent all evening crawling and pulling up and smiling a gummy grin of pride. So that left no time for much milk. 

So I hold his 21 pound, solid frame firmly in my arms. Like I've said before, he just fits...continued 

Words Have Meaning

What Does "Consider" Actually M

An Interview transcript with Bessel van der Kolk, MD conducted by Ryan Howes

This is the first in a series about "Constan

Constancy: Video 1 with Holly Van Guilden

Holly Van Gulden explains where constancy starts.

Go to Constancy Video 3

Lying is the most common symptom of the lack of constancy. And it makes perfect sense for a child who has experienced loss and early trauma - Watch!

Holly Van Gulden talks about language or tools to use to build constancy?

Holly Van Gulden talks about research in the field of constancy and the way the brain responds to trauma