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View Full Version : A idea for Alison's family.....



Ihostmom2mitchandnick
01-08-2008, 02:45 PM
I hope I am not way off base.....as I have no idea any type of services they are planning.....
But what about helping her with the headstone? If he is creamated maybe she could use whatever we come up with to make a place that her and the kids could go. Also maybe helping her plant a tree or garden type area for them to go to remember him. Just a thought.....
I know that headstones are so expensive....and maybe if we all chipped in on a headstone....or Urn......maybe she could get a really nice one that maybe she wouldnt have otherwise been able to do????
Just a thought.....
hugs,
MA

Ihostmom2mitchandnick
01-08-2008, 02:47 PM
I would like to start a charm bracelet for Alison.....
One that we could all purchase a charm for.....and then she could have charms from all over the world.......
I would love to buy the bracelet....and a Idaho charm......anyone else want to send a charm?
Hugs again,
MA

midebbie
01-08-2008, 02:56 PM
I think this is a lovely idea.. although I wouldnt buy a chain just yet.. it might end up being a charm necklace with all the people we have here! I'd love to send a charm.

JamieI
01-08-2008, 03:42 PM
When my dh passed we recieved tons of flowers which were very kind but honestly a few days later made me feel like my house was a Mortuary (sp) the gift cards to local diners and things like that were so helpful as I was in no mood to cook being soo overwhelmed. I had a friend that had gotten very special gifts that was awesome. And although it sounds bad, the funeral was so expensive that the grave stone idea is amazing. I struggled with paying so much or putting it in my kids college fund, where dh would have wanted it. Ugh sorry for rambling but this brings back so many sad memories. Truth be told, anything that helps the family directly is best, or at least it was for us.

Ihostmom2mitchandnick
01-08-2008, 04:09 PM
When my dh passed we recieved tons of flowers which were very kind but honestly a few days later made me feel like my house was a Mortuary (sp) the gift cards to local diners and things like that were so helpful as I was in no mood to cook being soo overwhelmed. I had a friend that had gotten very special gifts that was awesome. And although it sounds bad, the funeral was so expensive that the grave stone idea is amazing. I struggled with paying so much or putting it in my kids college fund, where dh would have wanted it. Ugh sorry for rambling but this brings back so many sad memories. Truth be told, anything that helps the family directly is best, or at least it was for us.
I am so sorry for your loss.......I wish I could give "you" hugs.:hug:
When my baby son died we could not afford a head stone. Funerals are so expensive.
I had to wait weeks and weeks until we could get "the" one I wanted. It would of been helpful to have had it, so when I was grieving the most.....I could have had it there with me.
Again Jamie.....I am so sorry for your loss......hugs
MA

neworleanslady
01-08-2008, 05:15 PM
I think that's a great idea.

Cindy

cindy121@charter.net

BamBam
01-08-2008, 05:41 PM
I hope I am not way off base.....as I have no idea any type of services they are planning.....
But what about helping her with the headstone? If he is creamated maybe she could use whatever we come up with to make a place that her and the kids could go. Also maybe helping her plant a tree or garden type area for them to go to remember him. Just a thought.....
I know that headstones are so expensive....and maybe if we all chipped in on a headstone....or Urn......maybe she could get a really nice one that maybe she wouldnt have otherwise been able to do????
Just a thought.....
hugs,
MA

So maybe some other way for her to display the charms (necklace or shadow box or something else) would be best.

Let me know if you have enough interest for the charm thing.

Also, I contacted CindyTX below about contributing, so hope that will go for something meaningful too.

THANKS MA!

Oh, and where does Allison live (general area)... someone mentioned IL, and if so, I had no idea she lived in my state! We are almost directly west of Chicago.

Terri

fatcat
01-08-2008, 05:45 PM
another really simple idea...

maybe someone who has a great printer can print all the most recent posts (as of now there are 188 of them!) and scrap book them or find some kind of nice way to bind them? I'm sure some of us would pitch-in for supplies.

psilverman
01-08-2008, 05:49 PM
...please post the details or email me through the system. Wonderful ideas MA.

twinks
01-08-2008, 06:28 PM
I'd definately do a charm from CO. I would also contribute money towards a headstone or something like that. I would rather not send flowers - we gave tons of flowers away after my dad's funeral.

I don't know the town that Alison lives in or I'd send a gift card to a take out place or something. Maybe an amex gift card? I don't know ... just thinking out loud.

Whatever the board decides to do, count me in. My heart is still just breaking over all of this.

JennyH
01-08-2008, 07:14 PM
in both ways. I am from Michigan.

Please email me @ Jenniferh@wowway.com

PPeanut
01-08-2008, 07:56 PM
please count me in I can send a charm from either NJ or NYC

CindyTx
01-08-2008, 07:58 PM
For more info how to help, email me at pnoinciid@yahoo.com and I can sent you a link.

Thanks,

Cindy

SusanW
01-08-2008, 08:32 PM
I can send a charm. Is anyone keeping track of which states are represented. I assume we are doing silver.

I'm in CT

Susan

Dawnn
01-08-2008, 09:20 PM
I'm confused, is there a board set up here on Inciid or elsewhere.

ybab
01-08-2008, 10:43 PM
I hope I am not way off base.....as I have no idea any type of services they are planning.....
But what about helping her with the headstone? If he is creamated maybe she could use whatever we come up with to make a place that her and the kids could go. Also maybe helping her plant a tree or garden type area for them to go to remember him. Just a thought.....
I know that headstones are so expensive....and maybe if we all chipped in on a headstone....or Urn......maybe she could get a really nice one that maybe she wouldnt have otherwise been able to do????
Just a thought.....
hugs,
MA

Wow - i would never have thought of that! Is there any way to find out if their family would need/want help with the headstone? Love the idea of a tree/garden type area too, b/c the whole family could enjoy/appreciate it. It's so hard to know what would really be helpful right now. Could one of you who has been in touch with Alison possibly bring this up? Not easy, I know. Personally, I'm not crazy about the charm idea...it seems more about us than about Alison and Al, but if I'm in the minority - I'd be happy to send one from New England :) .

JodiG
01-08-2008, 11:23 PM
and what ever you WONDERFUL ladies come up with along with the calendar idea.


Jodi

Ihostmom2mitchandnick
01-08-2008, 11:36 PM
Wow - i would never have thought of that! Is there any way to find out if their family would need/want help with the headstone? Love the idea of a tree/garden type area too, b/c the whole family could enjoy/appreciate it. It's so hard to know what would really be helpful right now. Could one of you who has been in touch with Alison possibly bring this up? Not easy, I know. Personally, I'm not crazy about the charm idea...it seems more about us than about Alison and Al, but if I'm in the minority - I'd be happy to send one from New England :) .
My thought on the charm is.....whenever she is feeling alone....she could put her charm braclet on and know that she has friends from all over the world to help her through. I didnt think about it being about us......I wanted her to have something to hold in your hand to feel how many of us have pulled together to help her and her family......and I thought is is very personal.

Katie2
01-09-2008, 05:56 AM
Mary Ann, you are one of the sweetest, most loving and giving souls I've ever encountered. Every single one of your ideas is beautiful, and I believe they would touch Alison deeply.

If you go through with the charm bracelet/necklace, count me in for a Pennsylvania charm.

I'm not wild about the American Cancer Society contribution - it's a great organization (in fact, I have volunteered for it and donated to it regularly in the past), but the donation just seems so impersonal. And, since Alison has poured her heart out to us, and given us the gift of allowing us to help her through this time, I think we need to give her something more special in return.

The headstone is a very, very sweet thought, too. My only concern is that this decision might already have been made. Is anyone here close enough to Alison to find this out?

But of all your ideas, the one I like best is the tree/garden. I read another post somewhere around here that another INCIID group arranged to have a tree planted for a Mom who lost her baby. The Mom put one of the baby's blankets in the hole when the tree was planted, so it made her feel even closer to her baby when she was near the tree. How beautiful. Maybe we could find a landscaper close to Alison, provide the cash and let her pick out something that would be suitable for her yard and that reminded her of Alan.

Don't know if I'm any help. Just count me, in whatever we do. I sent her a CD of music that has gotten me through some challenging times, along with a note that I hope it brings her the same peace. That should arrive within the next few days.

WasTarin
01-09-2008, 10:16 AM
http://www.inciid.org/forum/showthread.php?p=156922#poststop

WasTarin
01-09-2008, 10:19 AM
You must have clicked on a thread in PNO that was re-directed here.

Dawnn,

Yes, there is another board here on INCIID. It was a dormant board (I believe) that was re-activated so we could brainstorm on ways to help Alison... but in a place Alison herself wouldn't have to read through as she continues to come to PNO for support and to give us updates.

At the top of this page you should see a file structure and if you click on "Special Thoughts for Special People", that should take you to the top most level of this board so you cann see all of what's happening here.

Let me know if you can't find it.



I'm confused, is there a board set up here on Inciid or elsewhere.

MamaShira
01-09-2008, 02:36 PM
So maybe some other way for her to display the charms (necklace or shadow box or something else) would be best.

Let me know if you have enough interest for the charm thing.

Also, I contacted CindyTX below about contributing, so hope that will go for something meaningful too.

THANKS MA!

Oh, and where does Allison live (general area)... someone mentioned IL, and if so, I had no idea she lived in my state! We are almost directly west of Chicago.

Terri


Terri, according to Google Maps, she's a little over 5 hours from where I am which would make her about 3 hours from where you are.

amelia1
01-09-2008, 10:00 PM
I think that's a great idea. I'm in.