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Thread: Older kids, sports, and ADD/ADHD

  1. #1
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Older kids, sports, and ADD/ADHD

    Do you tell your kids' coaches about our child having ADD/ADHD? I felt strongly that we should make the school aware of DS's ADHD, that otherwise he wouldn't get the help he needed, and that the teacher's were going to know and unofficially label him regardless. Now my son is playing competitive baseball and I have not mentioned it to the coaches. For some reason, I think it will have the opposite effect in sports than it will in school (I think it will close doors for him rather than open them). They pretty much hand-pick the kids to play. It is an amazing opportunity for him, for a lot of reasons. If he has a reputation for inattention, I don't think he will be picked going forward. Baseball isn't a sport that is very compatible with ADHD, I think. I can tell sometimes, watching, he has ADHD, but I don't know if the coaches have noticed it yet, as he seems able to compensate when it matters. But he has his cringe-worthy moments. Anyway I thought it was interesting that I want to hide it from his coaches but want his school to know about it. What a confused parent I am!

  2. #2
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I don't think I would would mention it until it became absolutely necessary. They probably aren't even noticing what you see. If it becomes a problem i would talk about it then.

    it is a hard situation
    karen

  3. #3
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperlc
    I don't think I would would mention it until it became absolutely necessary. They probably aren't even noticing what you see. If it becomes a problem i would talk about it then.

    it is a hard situation
    karen
    I do wonder what they are noticing. I sometimes see all 4 coaches pow-wow'ing and wonder what on earth they are saying, lol. Not sure I'd even want to be a fly on that wall. I'm going to leave it alone for now and see how the first game goes. I'm sure they'll know whether he is attentive enough to put in the infield, based on seeing him practice so much. I don't care where he plays as long as he doesn't get hurt. Thanks Karen.

  4. #4
    Christine S Guest

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    YOu know I'm usually all for telling, but in this case I don't think it's necessary unless you see more of those *moments* and it's causing an issue.

    Congrats on his achievements! All our ADD kids need something they can be really proud of!



    C

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    justLaura is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I will probably be in the minority, but it was SOOOO helpful to tell our coaches this year that Brendan had ADHD.

    From day one, I mentioned it to the coach, and told him that if he thought that it would be unsafe for him on the field or that it was impacting the whole team negatively, we'd take him out. And, we also went through coach training in case they wanted us to be one-on-one in the field with him.

    Granted, there was a lot of "Brendan! Pay attention! Heads up!" from all the coaches, but they were so wonderful with him. We are still in an instructional league and without fail, Brendan was always near a coach who could remind him to watch the ball when it was pitched and other things that are such a struggle.

    Also -- he got to play in the pitcher's position and catcher's position (it's coach-pitch) this year, because the coach realized that it forced him to pay attention...very helpful! I really think that having a coach on your side in something like this can be really good for a child's self esteem. I also mentioned that kids with ADHD hear 9 criticisms for every compliment, so the coaches even gave him a game ball (and Brendan's not a great player) one day when he was able to have one of his (very few) hits. It was tremendous. :-)


    I've come pretty full-circle about this. I'd rather people change their interactions with Brendan for a real dx than just thinking he's a PITA child. :-)

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    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    those are really good points too. I can totally see both sides of this issue.
    karen

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    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I think for sports I wouldn't tell them

    It's way too competitive (and out of control IMO) as it is, and if they have a reason to knock your child out of the game, they will. If your child is doing okay in baseball and steps up to the plate (no pun intended!) when needed, I wouldn't say a word. I would think the high energy would be an asset for him in sports, if that is what he enjoys doing.

    When my younger DS gets older, I will likely not tell them about his Erb's Palsy or (possible at this point) ADHD. I know once they hear his diagnosis he'll be out of the game, and I know that when he wants to do something, he will and nothing will stop him. So I know that he'll manage just fine if that is where his heart is. I won't let the coaches decide for him.

  8. #8
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Sounds like you have some amazing coaches...

    We had a very negative experience this year in baseball and in our area, the coaches would not look at that as an opportunity to help and make a difference, but quite the opposite.

    How lucky you are to have wonderful coaches and kind people.

  9. #9
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by justLaura
    I will probably be in the minority, but it was SOOOO helpful to tell our coaches this year that Brendan had ADHD.

    From day one, I mentioned it to the coach, and told him that if he thought that it would be unsafe for him on the field or that it was impacting the whole team negatively, we'd take him out. And, we also went through coach training in case they wanted us to be one-on-one in the field with him.

    Granted, there was a lot of "Brendan! Pay attention! Heads up!" from all the coaches, but they were so wonderful with him. We are still in an instructional league and without fail, Brendan was always near a coach who could remind him to watch the ball when it was pitched and other things that are such a struggle.

    Also -- he got to play in the pitcher's position and catcher's position (it's coach-pitch) this year, because the coach realized that it forced him to pay attention...very helpful! I really think that having a coach on your side in something like this can be really good for a child's self esteem. I also mentioned that kids with ADHD hear 9 criticisms for every compliment, so the coaches even gave him a game ball (and Brendan's not a great player) one day when he was able to have one of his (very few) hits. It was tremendous. :-)


    I've come pretty full-circle about this. I'd rather people change their interactions with Brendan for a real dx than just thinking he's a PITA child. :-)
    Your last sentence is the crux of the issue for me. I'm at a point where I'm not sure which I'd prefer.

    And about the 9 criticisms for every compliment, that definitely is a concern. The coaches offer lots of constructive help to him and to everyone. I've noticed the criticisms, but not just to him, and I've noticed that the coaches are forthcoming enough with compliments too in spite of this being a competitive league, so I'm okay with it.

    You also mentioned that you'd take him out; I'm not willing to do that. This is a great opportunity for him. Plus he'll finish it because he started it. Plus he really likes it. But it's so individual depending on the child and the league and the coaches and the age and the specifics of the diagnosis etc. Thanks for sharing how you guys handle it, it is good to get another perspective, I appreciate it!

  10. #10
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christine S
    YOu know I'm usually all for telling, but in this case I don't think it's necessary unless you see more of those *moments* and it's causing an issue.

    Congrats on his achievements! All our ADD kids need something they can be really proud of!



    C
    Thanks! I don't think it's enough of an issue at this point to say anything. The positives of the experience as it is seem to outweigh the moments. Haven't had first game yet, just a gazillion practices, so it will be interesting to see how he does in a game situation.

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