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Thread: pooping issues

  1. #1
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    Default pooping issues

    I was wondering if any of you might have some advice on this. My ds will be 4 in November. He has been pee trained for a couple months now, but is absolutely terrified of pooping in the toilet. He usually will hold his poop (sometimes for up to two days) until he can't hold it anymore and then will just go in his pants. It is very obvious when he has to go, but if we put him on the toilet he just holds it and flips out. Since he spends most days holding his poop, he is quite miserable complainig that his bottom hurts, wanting to be held all the time, not eating, etc. I have no idea how to solve this. Any ideas? Anyone else dealt with this?
    It's getting hard to want to go anywhere because there is no where to change a kid of his size, and it is kind of embarrasing to have an almost four year with poop in his pants.
    TIA

  2. #2
    jeninnc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    similar issues...though Ellie would not hold it in and get constipated, she would poop in underwear all the time.

    Ellie will be 4 in October, pee trained in June and very recently poop trained. She is high functioning autism and SID.

    What worked for us is bribery. I bought something she liked, sat it on the counter of the bathroom and let her see it everytime she went potty. It only took about a day before she couldn't stand it and wanted the toy. She's about 90% in the potty now, and we haven't had an accident in about a week.

    I've had several friends go through this and they swear by miralax for constipation. I also tried to make Ellie as comfortable as possible - she picked out a Dora potty seat, she has lots of books and toys in the potty. We also talked about it a lot and she watched all of us go potty - especially her sister.

    Good luck. Talk to your doc about Miralax and know that you are far from being alone! I know the feeling of not wanting to go out - we planned our activities around poop time, and now it is a relief to have it done with. Not that I don't carry about wipes and spare clothes with me everywhere I go!

  3. #3
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    We did Miralax to make it impossible for him to withhold, and lots of positive reinforcement along the lines that Jen mentioned. The thing with withholding is that once it's all accumulated inside them, then it really *does* hurt to go, so they are only going to get more and more afraid of going. Our ped told us that we would never, ever break the cycle without making his poops so soft and frequent that (1) they were painless, and (2) we had lots of opportunities to positively reinforce.

    Of course nothing is perfect, as you may have seen from my post below . . . but Evan was doing great until this recent stressful time.

    Lisa

  4. #4
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    we broke a similar cycle by using miralax. the doc prescribed it, but i think it is also otc now. it works well because they cannot hold it and it DOES NOT hurt to go anymore. It only took ella about a week on miralax - and ?10 months later she has never had a poop accident. (miralax does NOT make diareeah at all, just softer poop that comes out easier) she cried all of the time about her bottom hurting and she had a bellyache all of the time before miralax. it was like a miralax miracle.
    i highly recommend trying it.
    the poop issues get reinforced by the pain of having to go when it is a large one from being held too long - or constipation - omg, ella went through some major crying and pain spells that were so bad that we were in tears...and that day the doc prescribed the miralax. Now, she hardly ever has any issues!

    Hope it works out! ouchie poops are no fun for anyone!!

    -angi

  5. #5
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    mickey2 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    can you pinpoint what it is about the pooping that terrifies him. it is the splash that comes up when it plops in. it that is possibly the case, perhaps teaching him to flush before pooping, so little to no water is in the basin to splash up. since he will pee in a toilet, im going to assume noise and other bathroom related sounds arent the culprit.

    a few moms i know shared this at a local support meeting...until then i never really thought about that aspect of it. hope it helps

  6. #6
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    hmmm, I don't think that's it because we have one of those little pottys too, and he won't go on there either (with no water). It may have something to do with sitting on the toilet since he only pee trained once he realized he can do it standing. I'm going to ask his ped about it when I see her in September.

  7. #7
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    Default Ugh...this is the third time I'm trying to post to you (sib ment)

    First my power went out and then my computer got this weird error as I was almost done...anyway, DS (just turned 4.5) just got poop trained a little over a month ago. He's been pee trained for awhile but it became a power struggle for well over a year. Since I was training two of them together, it was easier to not force the issue and I relied on pullups way too long. When the warm weather approached, we had a Potty Party and we "threw away" the pullups (except for accidents while sleeping). They just accepted it matter of factly and enjoyed the much coveted Slip 'n Slide I bought for the occasion. There were a couple of minor accidents but that went smoothly. DD pooped on the potty without much problem at all. DS refused. Adamently! He was turning 4.5 in July and still pooping in pullups. He's also tall for his age so it was even worse because changing him felt like changing an adult!

    He said he it "was scary." He always says that for things he doesn't want to do so I knew that wasn't really the issue. He's never been constipated even though he'd hold it in until a pullup was available so that wasn't an issue. It was a new thing and he's not good with transition and he also has a very short attention span so getting him to sit was met with screams and howls (even though he had a new hand held toy that was only for pooping) so I gave up. No amount of coaxing, special treats...nothing could change his mind.

    Then one day he had a small bout of diarrhea while on an antibiotic and he actually didn't fight me on trying to poop on the potty. I think he had given up the fight. The good thing is that he got a lot of practice that day (5x in one afternoon) so he saw it wasn't scary. He got plenty of applause and cheering, new Thomas tattoos, and a mom who kept telling him how proud he should be of himself. Since then, he asked for a pullup once and I just told him he knew how to poop on the potty and he accepted it. I think he was just ready because DS is STUBBORN.

    Do you know what he had the nerve to say to me the other day when he pooped? He said, "pooping on the potty is fun." I had to agree!

    Try a stool softener if that's a problem. The diarrhea was a blessing in disguise for us. Hang in there. It'll happen. I remember this not so long ago here.

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