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Thread: We are in a bad cycle and I don't know how to get

  1. #1
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default We are in a bad cycle and I don't know how to get

    it to end. We went a very long time with decent behavior. He seemed to be overall in control although there were challenges, they were manageable. But for the past 1 1/2 weeks he has been unmanageable. I am getting bad reports from his teachers that he has been wild and out of control. Trouble keeping his hands to himself. These have come from his special ed teacher and before this she hadn't seen these behaviors since the year has begun.

    He has brought back the angry ugly bossy voice. He is talking back to me. He is not hearing directions and when he does he clearly chooses not to do what I've asked.

    I don't know what to do. I am going to start brushing again. I did it a few weeks back but stopped again. I guess I can't stop and will need to force myself to do it for at least a few weeks 2x a day. Its so hard.

    He has been tired because he's been waking up before 7 am. I don't know why he is all of sudden waking almost 30-45 minutes earlier than before but its affecting him. I put him to bed at 6 pm tonight because he was a basket case. He was asleep by 6:20 so I know he is tired. I am toying with the idea of trying to wake him to pee before I go to bed so maybe he will sleep a little later. Its very very difficult to get him into bed so early. He actually took a 3 hour nap on Sunday which is unheard of for him. It happens maybe once every month or two. He has also been begging me for Tylenol but can't tell me why he needs it. It seems that he just wants it but maybe he does need it can get explain to me why. I don't want to get into giving him meds just because he asks for them.

    What else can I try? He doesn't get home until 4 pm from his second school of the day 4 days a week. T-F he goes 9-12 to community preschool and then 12-4 at special ed preschool.

    Thanks and I'll try to be around more.
    karen

  2. #2
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    ((hugs)) Karen. Same situation here - dd is way, way, way overtired and the backtalk flies out of her mouth before she even knows it. Tonight I even tried the age-old technique of soap (just the tiniest drop), and it can be effective, but I really don't think it's a long term solution for us. I can take a lot of things, but I have my limits, and she was way way way way past that. I can't even think about it, it was so incredibly disrespectful. We have instituted a new hug therapy, invented by dd (she refuses to allow anything the OT specified for her sensory diet). I am thinking I'll try to give her a hug before telling her to do something, though even then she doesn't like unsolicited hugs, but only those she asks for. Or maybe I should just hug her when she gives me backtalk (that would be 8,000 times per day)

  3. #3
    danellsar is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    2 things come to mind. First off, he may in fact be in some pain (if he's asking for Tylenol). Kids do get growing pains in their legs and they can be quite uncomfortable. This would account for a whole lot of growly bad behavior.

    Also, just my opinion, but 7-8 hours of school seems like a LOT for a 4 year old. He may be overstimmed and overtired from going to 2 preschool programs. Can he alternate? Maybe go Mon/Fri to regular preschool, and Tuesday, Weds., Thurs. to special ed preschool? Then he'd at least have part of the day off. It's a lot to ask of him to remember and follow 2 sets of rules and listen to 2 different teachers all in the same day.

    I think, if it were me, I'd be pulling back on some of the activities, and doing more structured OT stuff at home. Brushing, heavy work, listening, all those things that you know help him get control.


    Hope it gets better.
    Ellen

  4. #4
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Lol. tell me more about her self invented hug therapy. Jacob doesn't like to do his stuff either. I love the idea of a hug before instructions. He would never go for it though. Even better is hugging each time he is disrepectful. Wow that would be a lot of hugs.

    I went back to benedryl tonight. We have to do this to reset his sleep. He sleeps about 11 hours a night which I know for most kids is a lot but its just not enough for him. Dh thinks I'm a little crazy about this. But I know I'm not. I can usually get him to go to sleep before 7:30 but its this early wake up times that have been the big problem. Benedryl won't help that and I don't think melatonin will either.

    Big hugs to you. I hope you find a break through soon. It just stinks doesn't it.
    karen

  5. #5
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Unfortunately I can't cut his schools. He was doing really well until about 1 1/2 weeks ago. I guess it caught up with him. I hadn't thought about growing pains. Maybe I'll give him tylenol regularly for a day or two and see if he feels better. Dh won't go for it so I guess I won't tell him.

    Other than school he doesn't have any other structured activities. I have not been making him rest though after he gets home from school and maybe I should go back to that. Its such a battle to get him to do it though which is why I stopped. I hadn't thought about that either - no mandatory rest after school. hummm

    thanks ellen
    karen

  6. #6
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Um, i was just thinking the same thing here...rough week.

    Ella has been asking for tylenol too. She can't tell me why she needs it either. She is not eating well though, and i know she is having constipation problems. I cna't get her to drink enough to sneak enough miralax in her it seems. Could he be constipated or ?

    The backtalk is horrendous. i thought it was just us. i was sooo embarrassed last night at a bday party when she talked back and continued to in front of everyone yelling for the hosts to get her more cake NOW. :-0 finally had to give her a time out and she hit me in the face the entire time on the way to a time out in the livingroom away from everyone.

    i do feel your pain. sometimes i wonder if the good times are coming back to stay ever!???

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