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Thread: Dealing with ADHD

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    Julie's post got me thinking about an article I read a while back on the visual-spatial website with the card idea

    I might have to try the card thing with ds (almost 5) but I wonder if he's too young for it. I guess it's worth a try. Only in his case I'd have to make separate cards for underwear and pants and shirt Last night he's sitting there naked on the floor in front of his pajamas and I'm asking him, sincerely, what are you supposed to be doing now (after I had already told him numerous times), and it took a lot more prodding for him to get a clue. It's like he forgot within a split second. grrrr.....

    and then I remembered that I read somewhere amongst the visual-spatial stuff (probably inside "Upside Down Brilliance" since there's a whole chapter on adhd - a tremendous book but out of print still, I think) that the vast majority of people with adhd are also visual-spatial learners (though obviously not all) (I got into this topic last year when we found out that dd is a visual-spatial learner). Anyway, you might want to check out the website ( if this applies to your ds, there are all kinds of helpful school-related articles).

    Here's an interesting link from that site about being both adhd and a visual-spatial learner

    just thinking out loud here (I should stop that - usually gets me into trouble)

  2. #12
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    May 2006


  3. #13
    Suzi is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default Excellent post Julie...

    Quote Originally Posted by JulieATL
    Love the suggestions so far. Prioritizing goals you are working on is a key one. You will both feel like the goals are manageable and achievable when you can define exactly what's the most important and emphasize it every day, all day. Do you get daily reports from the teacher? You can let her know that your main focus goal right now is using "nice hands." So if she can be sure to report on that each day (all day nice hands, or two incidents today, and especially if she caught him controlling himself in a situation which would normally lead to bothering others), then you can implement a reward system at home for when you get the good reports. And use the same language and rewards when he has playdates or other contact with kids outside of school. I'd also avoid direct punishments for not having nice hands. So rather than taking something away, or giving time out, or a long talking-to, if he came home with a negative report about not nice hands, you calmly mention about how he won't get "x" today, but tomorrow with a good report, he'll get "x", and then when he does earn "x" you make it into a huge deal and give him lots of specific verbal praise directed at boosting self-esteem, rather than just the general "good job" - you must feel so proud of yourself, I know this was hard for you but you did it!, great job making good choices about nice hands today, I bet your friends really enjoyed playing you today, didn't you have such a happy day when you made good choices?, etc..... Praise that gives the child words about how he can feel about himself, and recognizing the direct and tangible rewards of good behavior go a long way toward building his self confidence and makes the rewards come from an inner place, rather than from outside - i.e. YOUR feelings about him, rather than his feelings about himself.

    Something to piggy back the one word directions: the more visual cues the better. Easily distracted kids tend to remember things better that they've seen rather than heard. So it's no wonder that he heard you in the car, but a minute later, it leaked out.... If you can have visual pictures that you print out and laminate as little squares of the most common things you need to do, you can hand them to him, or put them on the wall in order...

    So if it's time for potty, jacket, shoes.....You can hand him the 3 cards, and as he achieves each one, he hands it to you and sees what he has left in his hand. Or if you have them velcroed to a little poster in the kitchen, he can put each one up as he finishes it. There are all kinds of things you can do with charts, but I find for me anyway, we can get bogged down in the charts, but if you just do a simple picture-velcro system it can go a long way toward having something concrete that he can use to measure his progress throughout the day. Just a thought.

    Lots and lots of hugs from a mom with a 4 year old who probably has an ADHD dx somewhere in his future too........


    Very sound advice. We saw a behavior therapist and she recommended all of these things (reward system, work on one behavior at a time, visual cues, etc.) along with PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE, for everything. ADHD kids hear negatives all day long..don't do that, NO!, etc. that it can work on their self confidence/esteem. Praise is so important to notice the things he does right and praise him for them instead of negatives.

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