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Thread: Very bad reports from both schools - don't know what to do

  1. #1
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Very bad reports from both schools - don't know what to do

    anymore.

    This is what his books said.

    School 1: difficult day keeping hands to himself. very physical - strangled one boy (this is actually a friend of his too). generally not listening - so we talked about classroom rules.

    School 2: ditto for here. He is choosing to intentionally do the wrong things to get negative attention.

    There was also a note in the backpack from the first school that said Jacob was a very good listener while playing the parachute game.

    I praised him because I saw the positive note first and then opened his communication book and saw the other two notes. He ran away from me but I grabbed him. I made him tell me who he hurt and he finally did. Then I put him in his room so he couldn't get any attention from anyone.

    He is in constant drive for negative attention even when I praise him regularly for all the positive things he does. I don't know exact what is happening in the school but I'm not surprised that its worse when he has to compete with so many other kids. I am very very worried about next year in K.

    I have an appointment tomorrow morning to meet with the special ed preschool teacher here at home and I'm trying to arrange someone to take my dd so she isn't here to listen to the conversation.

    We have stopped all sensory services. don't know if this is the problem or not.

    Dh thinks that there is nothing abnormal about any of this. He is right that they don't give me enough details about exactly what has happened that is so bad. Also he thinks that we should not follow up with punishments at home. I don't know if I agree with that. I guess the school should deal with the behavior there and then he gets a clean slate when he gets home but how do I just ignore the behavior too.

    karen

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    mickey2 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    my bet would be on sensory overload at the schools. it would be important to find out what is happening just before he looses it. then you can narrow down if its sensory related, being a bully, being picked on, or pure frustration from trying so hard to keep it together that he explodes (this was how ds displays his sensory overload at school in the past). good luck sorting it all out...

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    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Thank you so much. I will ask the teachers this exact question tomorrow. I know last year it was very clear sensory overload, its just not clear this year

    karen

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    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I just sent his regular preschool teacher an email asking her what might be underlying causes of the behavior and gave the list you suggested (it was a great list). I also asked her to explain more what happened today at a school with the strangling episode. Jacob told me he put his hand over another boys mouth. Not quite strangling but I don't really believe him.

    I have a parent teacher conference tomorrow with the preschool special ed teacher and I'll ask her the same questions.
    thanks again
    karen

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    sugarsue is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I'm glad you sent the email

    those notes got me so steamed! Is this the special needs school? If so, I am getting the feeling they are not doing their part to HELP the kids but are only trying to manage them. Please keep us posted and I am so very sorry!

    Do they have a sensory plan for him during the day? If we know what they do all day long centers, circle time, rest time, lunch, etc. We can help give suggestions!!

    HUGS!

    Susan

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    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    oh no.

    I am with susan. They should be doing more to help the sensory overload stuff..

    I am sooo sorry that you got this news.



    If it is any consolation, dd ella strangled me at christmas eve at the family party - in front of everyone in a total rage because she could not open a present that was not hers. THe room fell quiet, and the mouths dropped open, and everything went into slow motion as she reached up to strangle me screaming as everyone stared in disbelief. I guess what I am trying to say is that with the right amount of over-stimulation, anything is possible.
    I knew right away though that it was over-stimulation from the noise from the crowd....too many people for her and too much noise. Noise is the first issue that makes dd do this kind of thing.
    What is the ratio at school? How many kids?
    When ella was in a school with 18 kids she did not do well. Now that she is in a 9-10 kid class, with 4 teachers, she is doing much better at school.

    I wish there was something i could do/say to help. I am sorry that this is happening.
    -Angi

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    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Thanks - that must have been awful for you. The incident yesterday was most likely over excited play. I talk to the mom of the child he says he did it to. She didn't hear anything about it and in fact her son said that he and Jacob were playing and having a great time together, so maybe it seemed worse to the teacher than it was. Not sure. This mom would definitely tell me if something had happened that upset her child.

    The behaviors seems to be attention getting and implusive behavior. She said that I need to find time for him each day one on one. This is very hard with 2 other kids but I know she is right. He has actually been much better at home so... I am going to tie it to getting good reports from the school. Maybe I shouldn't but I am.

    I have to run. big hugs to you too
    karen

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