View Poll Results: When throwing a tantrum or fit........has your child

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  • angrily told you or someone else that they do not love them?

    8 80.00%
  • angrily told you or someone else that they are not your friend or buddy?

    8 80.00%
  • said that they were going to hurt you (or someone else) in any way??

    3 30.00%
  • hurt you or someone else by scratching, kicking, hitting, or biting?

    6 60.00%
  • hurt their siblings or any animals on purpose?

    1 10.00%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: A poll about tantrums - ignore the other one

  1. #1
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default A poll about tantrums - ignore the other one

    here is a poll, hope this one works better than the other one...

  2. #2
    jeninnc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Ellie's not one to throw tantrums but I answered the last too - when she fights with her sister over something, she will try to bite. But only Lacey - she's never bitten anyone else. Lacey was a huge biter too.

    She rarely has a tantrum - I honestly think it doesn't cross her mind to throw one. Same with the first three answers - I don't think she is capable of that kind of emotional outburst yet - which goes along with the ASD.

  3. #3
    amelia1 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Caylee has done the first two choices on the poll.

  4. #4
    JulieATL is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I think an outburst morphs in a true "tantrum" when....m

    they begin to say and do things that are no longer deliberate and they have completely lost impulse control. So, the "No, I"m not going to put on my shoes", maybe tossing the shoes in the corner of the room, huffing around, etc - all that stuff that is just simply deliberately avoiding the task, attention seeking, fighting for control (which is what defiance is essentially), all of that is the outburst. The tantrum begins when the behavior takes over in that way that Angie described in the original poll. What Ellie did last night with scratching and yelling mean things. At that point, she wasn't planning her behavior, she had gone beyond thought and was beyond self-control. The hateful words are just all part of it, just blurting out the meanest thing that comes to mind because she can't find any other way to let out the frustration building inside.

    Ds does this as well, not as often as earlier in his life, before he had good language, but I can see when he stops just being defiant and starts losing control over his rational thought. That's when he yells "shut up" or "you're a bad mommy" or "i hate you" and when he scratches, bites and squeezes me really really hard.

    Fun, fun, fun! I think tantrums with our SN kids look different than for typical kids with the kid writhing in the middle of Walmart crying on the floor b/c they can't get a lollipop. So many of our ASD, or SID, anxiety/bipolar kids, have trouble with emotional regulation. And the scene Angie described at night where dd said she wouldn't do it again and needed extra cuddling and said she loves you. That shows she feels bad, ashamed even. She knows she lost control, feels so bad about it, so much wants it to never happen again (it doesn't feel good to her either) and needed extra reassurance that you still loved her even though she felt so yucky inside afterward.

    I really identify what you wrote so deeply. Partly because I see it in my ds and partly b/c I see it in myself. As a kid growing up, and through this very day, I get rages, and do and say things that are so insanely ridiculous that I'd never do when I'm in my "right mind". I think it's my own anxiety creeping in. So as much as I could wring ds's neck when he goes off the deep end, I have a special appreciation for what he's going through as well.

    Anyway, you didn't ask for all this, I just suddenly had a need to pour it all out. Sorry for taking up so much of everyone's time. I just really appreciate being able to relate with all of you.

    ,
    Julie

  5. #5
    mickey2's Avatar
    mickey2 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    i answered based on my ds...but if i were to answer based on my dss, then all apply. he has adhd, aspergers and oppositional defiant disorder. bipolar runs in his moms family so we at one time, thought it might be that. it is very scary to deal with hearing such things. we go out of our way to make sure he has someone he feels he can talk to always. whether a psych, counselor, doc, parent, friend, mentor, pastor, etc. over the years, it changes in terms of who he talks to, but he tells me he finds it very helpful.

    hope this helps

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