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Thread: Teaching people skills & or emotional flexibility?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Ashely, I will reply in detail soon -- I have a huge work thing due Tuesday, and got kind of bogged down in it today, and I *know* I'll be bogged down tomorrow and Tuesday, but I will plan to write you a detailed post on Wednesday! Sorry for the delay.

    Basically, it's a lot of one-on-one games that isolate out different social skills. As the child's competency grows, the games expand to groups. That's the short version! :-) Just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

    Lisa

  2. #12
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    Aug 2006
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    Thank you! I'll look forward to your info. I'm reading through the rdi website but it's a bit hard to picture. Thanks!

  3. #13
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyLM
    Our son has *some* impaired understanding of social skills - his spd tends to make him over-react at times - although he appears to function normally at times, as well. He sometimes chooses to avoid social contact because certain types are stressful for him. We are looking to work on his emotional flexibility - less black & white thinking, developing empathy, etc. Any programs or books that can be helpful with this? Our son is elementary school aged so I know a some of us on this board don't have children of this age yet. Anyone with a 8+ yr old, I'd especially appreciate your thoughts.
    I don't know of any programs or books, but as far as avoiding social contact, we try to give DS (9) as much social practice as he can handle in the most controlled situation possible. For example, he went to playground camp one summer and hated it. It provided a lot of social contact opportunity, but it was poorly supervised by young kids. It wasn't something he liked and he let me know it. He doesn't want to do it again and we won't make him. We encourage him to try new activities and to join teams whenever possible, though. I prodded him into basketball this winter, something new to him, but a well supervised, small group situation. Baseball has been like this too, a small enough group that it is not overwhelming, and his dad or I are always nearby if he needs us. Scouts has been like this too, since it encourages parent participation so it's as supervised as you want it to be. I could probably do this with playdates, but that's never been a strong suit of mine.

    As for empathy, I take any teaching moment I can and talk. He doesn't like to talk about that kind of thing though.

    What kind of situations are stressful for him?

  4. #14
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    Large, noisy groups are stressful for him because he can't process what's going on efficiently enough to keep up. Lunchroom. Unpredictable, noisy events where there's a lot going on, such as a parade. He also has trouble keeping up with the group in schoolwork because he processes so slowly - this may be a teacher issue. Let's not go there right now! Please! :-) These things are probably auditory processing related and we need to have an eval with an audiologist trained in auditory processing disorder to help sort this out.
    As far as emotional flexibility/social skills: At home, his stress comes from wanting to control his younger sibling. He also over-reacts without thinking things through at times, for instance, if a classmate who tends to be sensory-seeking starts poking at him or gets in his space too much, my son tends to get very silly or over-react with anger. He tends to value things more than people even though he can verbalize the appropriate social behavior - for instance, if a child is about to accidentally break one of his lego creations, he is prone to an outburst of anger (short-lived but an outburst that attracts negative attention to himself, none the less). If he shares one of his things, and he is pretty generous, when he tells the friend how to use it, if the friend doesn't respond as he wants them to right away, he shouts at the kid and attracts negative attention because of his over-reaction/short fuse. He is a very sweet, intelligent, loving child, but he's missing some of these things despite the fact that we've been discussing them for years. We his senses are not over-stressed he's delightful. I wonder if there is a component of being unable to understand/think things through at the level he needs to be successful in certain settings socially and I wonder if this RDI program might get us on the track we need to be on.

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