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Thread: sometimes I want to smack dh

  1. #1
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Default sometimes I want to smack dh

    he won't let me get Jacob evaluated for ADHD because he said what would we do differently if we knew for sure. OK... well that may be true but shouldn't we know if its that or something else. Going to have to revisit this again another day.


  2. #2
    jeninnc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006


    well, for me it would be a non-negotiable thing. I would do it, no matter if dh was on board or not. I am with Ellie 95% of the time and I know her best. If I want to do something with her then I do it.

    But in this house, dh and I agree on nearly everything in regards to her. He follows my lead most of the time, but he also has input and suggestions that I value.

    I would think your dh has no right to complain about his behavior then. Hugs, it must be so hard when you don't agree on a major issue.

  3. #3
    JulieATL is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Sep 2007

    Default I know it's so hard when you disagree on the steps to take....m

    Maybe he's afraid Jacob will get labeled or ostrasized? Does he think ADHD is overdiagnosed and a doctor will be quick to label him just because he has some trouble concentrating or he's a little less focused than average? Is he afraid that ds will be put on meds that dh is not comfortable with? If and when you do revisit, it will be good to remind him that once you know, you can use proven strategies that were developed specifically for ADHD to help with learning, studying, test taking, etc. And that you can get extra consideration from the school if ds does have a diagnosis for getting less homework, or a quieter place to take exams, or eliminate the time limit for him on exams, just little things that will make a difference. But he won't get any of these benefits if there's no medically necessary reason to do so. Meds don't necessarily have to play a part in it if dh is really afraid of that.

    Sorry you guys are butting heads on this. I know where "jeninnc" is coming from when she says to just take ds anyway, butn at what cost? If you guys are constantly fighting over this and dh doesn't trust you to respect his opinion on things, it could cause even more problems.

    I hope you find a way to help dh understand this would only be helpful, not harmful. And covered by insurance, at least for evaluation purposes. Knowledge is power!


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