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Thread: I know I've been AWOL for a while, but I could really use a hug.

  1. #11
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christine S
    And the tough part is that she's GOT the concepts. But when she's having a bad day (ie: the ADD is at it's worst) she makes careless mistakes. I went over her homework with her and had her re-check her work. She's going over it "And the answer is 3 over 6, reduce it down to one half....oops!" when she realizes she wrote 1/6 instead of 1/2. She KNOWS the work. She just goofs up and writes a wrong number or something.

    She had another major meltdown about it last night. Ugh. I feel so horrible for her....but at the same time I'm a bit frustrated because she's not thinking clearly about the situation. Hopefully she'll calm down today.

    C
    Do the careless mistakes happen on any particular kind of math problem? I've been watching for a pattern. I think the careless mistakes DS makes tend to be on the word problems. He doesn't always stop and think about what they are asking for, or it has 2 parts to it but he only notices one part of the question, that kind of thing.

    I was also wondering what time of day does she have math? That can make a big difference, I think. Right before lunch or at the end of the school day is not good for DS. Best of luck, I hope today was calmer.

  2. #12
    Christine S Guest

    Default Word problems are always tough....

    It's a lot of information to filter through. And when you have trouble with anything more than 1-2 steps at a time (as do many ADD kids) the word problems are impossible.

    For Ame it's just a mix of errors. I think part of it is that their math has nearly 30 problems for each homework assignment. She has some visual issues - figure ground to be exact. This is trying to pick out one item in a group. So this translates to having issues keeping track of which math problem she is working on (she looks at the page and gets mixed up). We've given her some ways to help with this, but for whatever reason she isn't using them.

    I'm not sure exactly what time of day she has math. I think it's earlier, but I'm not positive. I know the time of day really does make a difference.

    I"m really just trying to squeak through the last few weeks. At this point I could care less about her grades. Once we can work at home I will help her deal with these issues.

    I just realized she has an oral presentation today....she HATES those. I wonder if that's part of the reason for the meltdowns.

    C

    Quote Originally Posted by zoeyz
    Do the careless mistakes happen on any particular kind of math problem? I've been watching for a pattern. I think the careless mistakes DS makes tend to be on the word problems. He doesn't always stop and think about what they are asking for, or it has 2 parts to it but he only notices one part of the question, that kind of thing.

    I was also wondering what time of day does she have math? That can make a big difference, I think. Right before lunch or at the end of the school day is not good for DS. Best of luck, I hope today was calmer.

  3. #13
    NancyR's Avatar
    NancyR is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    That's so hard on a kid! Especially at this age...and there's nothing subtle about being pulled in and out of a program, that's highly visible and embarassing.

    Maybe in the future the school should adapt more of a "probationary" period where a kid has x number of weeks after a poor test grade or what have you. Kids have rough days, and also stresses from home, etc...

    Well, we really, really missed your presence here! It's nice to see you poking your head in!!

    Much love to you and hoping Tobin is well too!! XOXXO! N

  4. #14
    Christine S Guest

    Default Thanks Nancy....

    The system is set up so that if they get 3 homework assignments below X% (I forget the exact percentage) OR one failing grade on a test they are out. Last time it was the third assignment that did it and this time it was a D+ on the test (problem was she had a REALLY bad day when she took that test). There is a bit of wiggle room, just not enough for dd.

    I was hoping her teacher would allow her back in if I tutored her for the remainder, but she chose not to. I can't argue because it is what it is. But I did get her to agree to keeping dd out of that group for the remainder of the year. And I've told dd that we will do those special projects at home now. The one she was working on was really applying the math work to a real life situation. I think that's SO important to show the kids how you will end up using your math skills as an adult.

    Anyhow....it's good to *see* everyone here again. Hope all is well with you guys.

    C

    Quote Originally Posted by NancyR
    That's so hard on a kid! Especially at this age...and there's nothing subtle about being pulled in and out of a program, that's highly visible and embarassing.

    Maybe in the future the school should adapt more of a "probationary" period where a kid has x number of weeks after a poor test grade or what have you. Kids have rough days, and also stresses from home, etc...

    Well, we really, really missed your presence here! It's nice to see you poking your head in!!

    Much love to you and hoping Tobin is well too!! XOXXO! N

  5. #15
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    Default wow...that sounds pretty awful

    The teacher should have better guidelines...like restructuring the group at the end of a semester, maybe quarters.

    That is tough for any child. I am sorry your dd is having a rough time.

    Good luck with homeschooling. I could NEVER do it. I am a teacher...first grade, but I think I would have a hard time homeschoolling MY kids. LOL Will you homeschool all three of your kiddos?

    You will do great!

    Kathie






    Quote Originally Posted by Christine S
    I'll try to give the abbreviated version (I've never been good at that though!).

    Dd has ADD and is in 5th grade. She's incredibly intelligent, but with the onset of hormones and all her work is very inconsistent. Grades are great overall, but over the past year it's not unusual to see C's, D's, and even F's on her work.

    A while back they started a higher level math group. She was put in the group. A while later she was taken out for not keeping her grade level up (they have certain standards for the group). She was devastated. About a month later she's put back in the group. A few weeks later she has a really bad test and she's taken out again. This was yesterday. She bawled pretty much from the moment she came home to the moment she went to bed.

    I do understand the need for the rules and guidelines for this group. But for a child with already low self-esteem it's a HUGE blow to her every time she gets taken out.

    I finally just made the decision to ask that she either be put IN the group or taken OUT...for the remainder of the year.

    It just makes me so sad that she has to go through this. And she was right in the middle of a big project in the math group. She was so excited to be working on this project and now she can't finish it.

    We are homeschooling next year so right now I'm just trying to get her through the last few weeks of school. I just wish it could be easier for her.

    C

  6. #16
    Christine S Guest

    Default Yes, all 3 of them.

    It's funny...everyone says the same thing. They could never do it. But I think when it comes down to it, if you go through the struggles WE have gone through and this ends up being a choice for you, you could do it. I have no delusions that this will be easy and go smoothly for all of us, but I have confidence we'll make it work and we'll end up having fun in the long run. I posted above about it, but I'm really worn out from having to fight for my kids. I'd finally had enough and just said I'll do it myself. *I* know exactly what they need. I know how my kids learn. I'm perfectly capable of teaching. I've actually felt pretty good about the decision.

    Thanks for the support!

    C

    Quote Originally Posted by Kathie
    The teacher should have better guidelines...like restructuring the group at the end of a semester, maybe quarters.

    That is tough for any child. I am sorry your dd is having a rough time.

    Good luck with homeschooling. I could NEVER do it. I am a teacher...first grade, but I think I would have a hard time homeschoolling MY kids. LOL Will you homeschool all three of your kiddos?

    You will do great!

    Kathie

  7. #17
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Hi Christine,
    I was just wondering about what ever happened to you recently. I am glad to see you back here posting but I am sorry to hear of the troubles. I think that is horrible that they took her out of the math group when they were working on a project. Geeesh, at least let her finish the project. That would be hard for any kid's self esteem. I am sorry that she is taking it so hard too. The poor kid.

    -Angi

  8. #18
    Laura H1 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    okay, I'll have to read your post better and reply... but I just HAD to say, WELCOME BACK!!! YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED!!!!
    Laura

  9. #19
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    Default I haven't read the other posts but

    I wanted to offer a cyberhug. It's never easy to see our kids struggling. I'm sure I'll be going through similar things with DS as he enters elementary school.

    I don't know why the school would move her back and forth so much. Don't these schools understand what that does to a kid's psyche? I wish you the best of luck with HS'ing and the last few wks of school. Hang in there...

  10. #20
    amelia1 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    (((Hugs))) I would agree with her being in one group or the other. Moving her back and forth doesn't seem very productive.

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