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Thread: Overcoming shyness....

  1. #11
    midebbie is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by captainclover View Post
    I was friends with one of the most outgoing girls in school and that helped me become more outgoing, I think. susie
    This is interesting because I also found a friend who was wildly outgoing. She had bright red hair and didnt care what anyone thought of her. I was shy as a mouse! She was my best friend for years. I always admired her ability to say and do what she wanted to and she was my inspiration to come out of my shell.

    Maybe look at her friends and encourage her to spend more time with the more outgoing ones.. playdates/sleepovers/etc.?

  2. #12
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    I'm not sure I really have any advice, just a recommendation. I was painfully shy as a child and I'm not sure any activity would have helped me with it. I just had to outgrow it. But I was labelled "shy" as a child by my parents, relatives and most adults (teachers, family friends, neighbors, etc.) who I met. As a result, I felt like I was almost letting them down if I became engaged in a conversation or spoke up. After all, if I spoke up then I was not doing what was expected of me or being who I was expected to be.

    I would try to avoid the "shy" label. It is probably impossible to do with other adults who will just out and say "oh, she's so shy". But I think I would have been much better off if my parents had not spoken for me, ordered at restaurants for me, etc. They just enabled me.

    Kris

  3. #13
    zmaditto is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I hear your pain about softball being cancelled. Ds was going to try baseball out for the first time this season and Ike took out our fields. I think we'll wait for the next fall ball season to try again...spring is too intense for a newbie.

    Would they enjoy volunteering at a library to help little ones or maybe walking dogs for an animal shelter? Have you checked into girls cooking/sewing classes? Is there a older/cooler version of Girl Scouts they could join? At times I can still be pretty shy. It's usually when I feel like I have nothing in common to talk about with the people around me. Maybe if they were doing something they were passionate about (as WT and others suggested) they wouldn't feel so strapped for something to say.

    About the TKD, I've found that different schools have very different feels to them...even within their own chains. Our school is run by a softy who handles the kids very sensitively and gently...feeds their self confidence with little gimmicky things all the time. You don't happen to live south of Houston do you?...

    Lisa

  4. #14
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    DianeL is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Nope - north - Woodlands area...

    thanks for the input. Much appreciated.

    I don't like IKE.....

    Sorry your season was cancelled too.

    Diane

  5. #15
    parus10 Guest

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    There is a book called "Don't Call Me Shy" about just this kind of situation - and how the shy label is problematic for the child. The author suggests lots of ways of deflecting others using the label and what you can say to and for your child.

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