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Thread: Bfing and sleeping through the night...m

  1. #1
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    Default Bfing and sleeping through the night...m

    So I need honest feedback from other bfing moms about sleeping through the night. When did your bf baby sleep through or did they? I'm really struggling with my almost 9 month old with nighttime sleep and am exhausted. I'm having surgery on the 5th of November and getting ready to have dh traveling almost solidly for the next 2 months. I'm considering doing some type of sleep training but am having a lot of anxiety about it. Here is what his sleep typically looks like: he will go down early, usually by 7 and sleep usually 4-5 hrs and then wake to nurse, then he is up every 3 hours after that wanting to nurse, nothing else will settle him. He is a big baby, probably close to 21 pounds. He is pretty established on solids at this point and is eating almost exclusively table food, doesn't want baby food. He still nurses a lot during the day, probably around 7 times or so. I really don't think he's hungry at night but is nursing for comfort, but how do I really know??? He is also a poor napper during the day. I know we need to establish better sleep habits all the way around, just not sure the best, least traumatic way to do it. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. Co-sleeping is out of the question. He will not sleep with me. Thanks for reading if you got this far....

    Lori
    Jace 1/22/

  2. #2
    jknyc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    DD slept through by 2-3 months (most nights). DS didn't sleep through until we finally stopped going in at night around 9 months or so.

    He's old enough that it is not necessity at this point, but habit. So you can keep following his lead, sleep train or have him co-sleep. If you're looking for support on sleep training, I'll support you! Many kids respond fast after a night or two of simply not getting what they're yelling for. He'll still love you in the morning. That said, I wouldn't sleep train until you have established two naps a day that work for him. Is it your schedule, the schedules of other kids, or his inability to self-soothe that prevents good day sleep, in your opinion?

  3. #3
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    Sounds like Jace is big, beautiful, breastfed boy . I hear ya on needing those nights to improve. Isaac is 11 months now and I nurse him once, usually around 4am. We've been doing this since he dropped his midnight feeding around 5 months. He sleeps 7p-7a with the one feeding.

    I personally think trying to get Jace to drop that midnight feeding might be the best strategy. I know my rational thought is better earlier in the night . I know during those rocky transition nights, sometimes I just set a time - say 2am - and said, I'm not going to nurse Isaac before 2am. Like jknyc said, after a few nights they adapt quickly. Within what seemed like a few nights Isaac wasn't calling till 3 or 4am -- and seemed better rested during the day.

    I do swear by "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" although it certainly doesn't work for everyone. Via personal experience, I have found that better night sleep does help naps lengthen out a bit.

    Good luck and I wish you the best with your surgery.

    Sara and Isaac - 11 months

  4. #4
    Hollie_B is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by jernlor View Post
    So I need honest feedback from other bfing moms about sleeping through the night. When did your bf baby sleep through or did they? I'm really struggling with my almost 9 month old with nighttime sleep and am exhausted. I'm having surgery on the 5th of November and getting ready to have dh traveling almost solidly for the next 2 months. I'm considering doing some type of sleep training but am having a lot of anxiety about it. Here is what his sleep typically looks like: he will go down early, usually by 7 and sleep usually 4-5 hrs and then wake to nurse, then he is up every 3 hours after that wanting to nurse, nothing else will settle him. He is a big baby, probably close to 21 pounds. He is pretty established on solids at this point and is eating almost exclusively table food, doesn't want baby food. He still nurses a lot during the day, probably around 7 times or so. I really don't think he's hungry at night but is nursing for comfort, but how do I really know??? He is also a poor napper during the day. I know we need to establish better sleep habits all the way around, just not sure the best, least traumatic way to do it. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. Co-sleeping is out of the question. He will not sleep with me. Thanks for reading if you got this far....

    Lori
    Jace 1/22/
    2 of mine slept through at about 16 months and one at 12 months. Obviously I'm not the person to ask. Coincidentally this is when they started whole milk vs. breast milk. For my kids I do think there was a connection.

    Like Jen said, I think there is a window and you're in it. So I'll support you. Good luck. A great night's sleep is very necessary!

  5. #5
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    Default The difficulty with daytime sleep...m

    is really multifaceted. It begins with his completely and total unpredictable waking time due to the number of times he was up during the night and the last time he was up. Sometimes it is as early as 6:30 and other times it is as late as 8. The next issue is that I have to take dd to preschool which starts at 9, a 20 min. drive. He will often fall asleep in the car for 15-20 min. and then be wide awake. He has just recently started taking a morning nap at various times of about 1.5 hours. This really is brand new for him. The rest of the day he will not nap for more than 30 min. no matter what I do. I also have to pick dd up at preschool at 1, which interferes with a time to put him down and he often falls asleep in the car this time too. Carpooling is not really an option and dh can't take her, not much I can do about the preschool schedule and she goes 5 days/week. I really don't know what to do about the napping thing. I have decided to not stress and obsess about it because it is just what it is and I think as he gets older I will hopefully be able to get him down at 9:30 and 1:30 but we are still working towar that. He is able to put himself to sleep quite easily.

    All that said, I guess I am looking for support on sleep training and to also hear stories of other bf babies that were able to sleep through the night. I honestly don't really want to do sleep training and keep hoping it will work itself out but I'm getting to the point where I am really tired and having a hard time getting by on such little amounts of sleep.... Thanks for responding!

    Lori

    Quote Originally Posted by jknyc View Post
    DD slept through by 2-3 months (most nights). DS didn't sleep through until we finally stopped going in at night around 9 months or so.

    He's old enough that it is not necessity at this point, but habit. So you can keep following his lead, sleep train or have him co-sleep. If you're looking for support on sleep training, I'll support you! Many kids respond fast after a night or two of simply not getting what they're yelling for. He'll still love you in the morning. That said, I wouldn't sleep train until you have established two naps a day that work for him. Is it your schedule, the schedules of other kids, or his inability to self-soothe that prevents good day sleep, in your opinion?

  6. #6
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    Default Thanks for your post...m

    4 am sounds like a dream right now! I'd be thrilled if we could get it down to one feeding. I think you are right about dropping the early feeding. Sounds like your little one does pretty well! Thanks for the support!


    Quote Originally Posted by augie View Post
    Sounds like Jace is big, beautiful, breastfed boy . I hear ya on needing those nights to improve. Isaac is 11 months now and I nurse him once, usually around 4am. We've been doing this since he dropped his midnight feeding around 5 months. He sleeps 7p-7a with the one feeding.

    I personally think trying to get Jace to drop that midnight feeding might be the best strategy. I know my rational thought is better earlier in the night . I know during those rocky transition nights, sometimes I just set a time - say 2am - and said, I'm not going to nurse Isaac before 2am. Like jknyc said, after a few nights they adapt quickly. Within what seemed like a few nights Isaac wasn't calling till 3 or 4am -- and seemed better rested during the day.

    I do swear by "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" although it certainly doesn't work for everyone. Via personal experience, I have found that better night sleep does help naps lengthen out a bit.

    Good luck and I wish you the best with your surgery.

    Sara and Isaac - 11 months

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    537

    Default Interesting about the whole milk vs. breast milk...m

    We are working on coming up with a plan, now I just need to stick it out.... Thanks for the support!


    Quote Originally Posted by Hollie_B View Post
    2 of mine slept through at about 16 months and one at 12 months. Obviously I'm not the person to ask. Coincidentally this is when they started whole milk vs. breast milk. For my kids I do think there was a connection.

    Like Jen said, I think there is a window and you're in it. So I'll support you. Good luck. A great night's sleep is very necessary!

  8. #8
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    Default Well, I had one bf baby sleep through at 4 months...

    and one not sleep through until 9 months, so I think it probably has to do a lot with the individual baby. I tried sleep training a couple of times with my younger one, but I just didn't have the patience for it. I got lucky that he started sleeping through on his own, so I don't know how long it would have taken me to be willing to try sleep training again.

    I'm guessing that the crazy nap schedule might be related to it. I know there aren't any easy answers as far as that goes when you have to take the older child to school.

    Does he take a pacifier at all? I know it might be weird to start one now, but if he needs the comfort, maybe it would help? How about a bottle or sippy of water? I did get to the point at around 8 months and I knew he didn't need to nurse, that I would change his diaper and offer a drink of water and then put him back to bed.

    Just keep reminding yourself that it won't be this way forever! Hang in there!

    Tonia

  9. #9
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    Sep 2008
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    Default

    I wrote a big long reply last night and it got eaten. Tonight I will try to keep it shorter.

    Anna is just a year old. Most nights she will go about 8 hours before needing to be fed, around 5am. Some nights she will wake once and settle back to sleep easily with some pats and a soother, other nights it takes a lot more, like last night, I was up for about 2 hours before I fed her and she settled back to sleep for another 2 hours.

    I attempted some gentle sleep training at 8 months and was unsuccessful. It worked for a while but then we were moving so I let things go. I attempted again at 10.5 months and have had a little more success. I have never let Anna cry it out. I have let her cry some, but always with someone present, never alone.

    Whatever you do, you must be comfortable with it and if it isn't working, step back a bit. You may have more success if your DH is able to go to your baby at night instead of you, that is when he is home. Some babies will respond to sleep training better than others, so again, do what you think is right. Babies are all so different.

    Here is what one of my friends claimed worked for them. She sent her Dh in with a bottle of water, within 3 nights their baby was sleeping through, this was at 8 months.

    Another friend let her baby cry it out, but not alone. He is able to sleep up to 10 hours but is currently teething and is not sleeping through. This baby is the youngest of 4 and he catches his naps on the fly when he can.

    Some books say that in order to sleep well at night, babies must nap well in the day.... I have found this not to be true for my baby and the same goes for my friend with the baby who can sleep 10 hours. It can be very difficult to get your baby to nap when you have another child to attend to. I do know that Anna naps better at home and if I am out with her, the longest she will go is 30 to 40 min.

    Oh yes, I can't sleep with my baby either. I don't sleep deeply and she wiggles too much. Also when I do take her into bed, she never seems to get into a deep sleep, as soon as I move, she wakes.

    Are you going to be away from home with your surgery? This might be the time that your baby starts sleeping through because magic boob isn't an option. A mother in one of the groups I go to went to Vegas for 3 nights when her baby was 8 months and she has been sleeping through ever since.

    C

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Thanks, here is the update....m

    We have completed 2 nights of "sleep training". I didn't necessarily plan it but when he woke 2 nights ago after only being asleep for 3 hours and wanted to nurse, I decided enough is enough and that we all NEED some sleep around here. He is persistent though! Both dh and I spent most of the time he was crying with him and continuously reassured and tried to settle him. He fell back to sleep (without nursing!) until about 4:45, at which time I nursed him and slept until about 7. Last night he woke after about 5 hours, same thing, dh worked with him through the crying, fell back to sleep after less crying than the night before until 5:45, nursed him, slept until 7:45.

    I'm hopeful we will eventually get him to sleep through that waking until around 4 or so. This has confirmed that he is not truly hungry, just waking out of habit. We will see how tonight goes. I'm glad at this point that we decided to do this and feel good and optimistic about it! Thanks everyone for all your help and support!


    Quote Originally Posted by mugwump View Post
    I wrote a big long reply last night and it got eaten. Tonight I will try to keep it shorter.

    Anna is just a year old. Most nights she will go about 8 hours before needing to be fed, around 5am. Some nights she will wake once and settle back to sleep easily with some pats and a soother, other nights it takes a lot more, like last night, I was up for about 2 hours before I fed her and she settled back to sleep for another 2 hours.

    I attempted some gentle sleep training at 8 months and was unsuccessful. It worked for a while but then we were moving so I let things go. I attempted again at 10.5 months and have had a little more success. I have never let Anna cry it out. I have let her cry some, but always with someone present, never alone.

    Whatever you do, you must be comfortable with it and if it isn't working, step back a bit. You may have more success if your DH is able to go to your baby at night instead of you, that is when he is home. Some babies will respond to sleep training better than others, so again, do what you think is right. Babies are all so different.

    Here is what one of my friends claimed worked for them. She sent her Dh in with a bottle of water, within 3 nights their baby was sleeping through, this was at 8 months.

    Another friend let her baby cry it out, but not alone. He is able to sleep up to 10 hours but is currently teething and is not sleeping through. This baby is the youngest of 4 and he catches his naps on the fly when he can.

    Some books say that in order to sleep well at night, babies must nap well in the day.... I have found this not to be true for my baby and the same goes for my friend with the baby who can sleep 10 hours. It can be very difficult to get your baby to nap when you have another child to attend to. I do know that Anna naps better at home and if I am out with her, the longest she will go is 30 to 40 min.

    Oh yes, I can't sleep with my baby either. I don't sleep deeply and she wiggles too much. Also when I do take her into bed, she never seems to get into a deep sleep, as soon as I move, she wakes.

    Are you going to be away from home with your surgery? This might be the time that your baby starts sleeping through because magic boob isn't an option. A mother in one of the groups I go to went to Vegas for 3 nights when her baby was 8 months and she has been sleeping through ever since.

    C

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