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Thread: 7 year old dd is losing clothes at school...

  1. #1
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    Default 7 year old dd is losing clothes at school...

    it's driving me crazy. She's lost 2 sweaters, a long sleeved shirt, and now a fleece at school. We had a long talk after the sweaters and the shirt about how to keep better track of her clothes (eg. tie it around your waist when you take it off). Things seemed a little better, but just this week she's lost her fleece, which is terrible because it's the inner lining of her winter coat.

    It seems like she's mostly losing them at recess...takes it off, puts it on a rock or the fence or somewhere, and then never takes it back into the classroom. It's also frustrating that none of this stuff is turning up in the lost and found. Does that mean little kids (dd wears size 5) are stealing these clothes? What do their parents say when they bring home clothes that don't belong to them?

    I don't know how to help dd any more than I already have. We talk in the morning about being careful not to lose your clothes, being careful to bring home the same clothes you went to school with, etc. But I'm not there at recess or lunch to make sure she remembers.

    And I'm not sure what the consequences should be. I am tempted to say--hey, that was part of your winter coat, you're going to be awfully cold this winter--but that doesn't seem fair. However, it's not exactly fair to me to have to spend a whole bunch of money on new stuff that she is just going to lose again. I've already told her the lost sweaters are not going to be replaced, so she only has 2 sweaters to wear right now, and I think she's definitely going to be sick of wearing the same clothes over and over again soon. But even that didn't prevent her from losing her fleece.

    Advice?

  2. #2
    CDB is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Well, I just did up a reward chart to remind DD to bring things home. Would something like this help her? Also, I'm really surprised that this stuff is not turning up in Lost and Found. I would definitely go in and talk to the teacher (or email her) and let her know that you're having this problem and could she help you help your DD at this point. Also let her know that this stuff is not turning up. I know that in our school, a teacher may take a lost article in and ask around for a few days before it makes it way to the lost and found.

    Good luck, this would really bother me. So far it's only been an umbrella and 2 cheap pairs of gloves here.

  3. #3
    donnap72 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default That would drive me nuts, too!

    I like the reward chart idea. That may help.

    My dd is only in Kindergarten & she has forgotten many things this year -- a few jackets & her lunchbox several times. So far (knock on wood) they've all come back the next day. Because I know DD is a little scatterbrained at times & likely to do this many, many more times over the coming years, I've bought all of her jackets, fleeces and sweaters for this winter from Goodwill & consignment stores. I don't think I've paid more than $3 for anything yet & while these are all really cute & nice little things from Old Navy, Gymboree, GAP & the like, I will try to chill if anything disappears for good because I know I didn't pay much. That may be the wrong attitude -- I mean, anything lost is still money lost no matter how little the amount was but I'd stress WAY too much if I'd paid full price for any of these things & they didn't come back home. As far as DD knows, though, we can't afford to replace things all the time (which is certainly true enough!) & she HAS to be responsible for getting everything back home or run the risk of it getting lost for good & not getting replaced. Luckily for us, she gets really attached to her things & if something ever did disappear completely, she'd likely learn her lesson.

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    DD in DFW1 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    DS#1 (age 10) is having this problem, too. To make matters worse, he has gym at last period and the teacher is allowing them to wear their gym clothes home. That means what is getting lost are the uniform pants/shirts that I've paid top $ for.

    Today it was his "Friday shirt." (They have a special T-shirt they can wear on Fridays.) I told him he would have to pay the $10 to buy another (if they have any left). Well, I just found it crammed under his bed. He's also temporarily lost some gym clothes and a Scout T-shirt this year. Eventually, everything has been found, but a few years ago he lost a sweatshirt at school and it never did show up.

    I think that at her age, having her do extra chores to earn the $ for replacement might be in order. Both my boys hate to do extra chores unless they're earning $ for something they want. It might make them think twice before being careless?

    Dana

  5. #5
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Same problem here with my 8 year old

    I lost count of how many sweatshirts he has lost. He has no idea where he leaves them. I will only buy him very cheap sweatshirts/jackets because it is only a matter of time before they are gone. He has one fall jacket left that he hates but I make him wear it because it is the only light jacket left and I am trying to hold out until Spring to buy another sweatshirt/light jacket. Haven't lost a winter coat. Yet.

    I feel your pain on this one. Very frustrating!

  6. #6
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Sneakers today

    Just so you feel better! After I posted, my DS wanted to go outside and couldn't find his sneakers. They were no where to be found. ARGH!

    I finally thought about it and figured out he left them at his friend's house yesterday.

    At least I found them but now have to drive over there to get them.

  7. #7
    SaraV is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    DS had this problem a lot last year...

    We did get everything back, in the end. It doesn't help that at his school they took all the hooks down from the halls for fire code/ADA accessibility reasons, so the kids leave everything on the FLOOR instead (how is that better?) and boots and coats get kicked around when everyone in all the classes is out there getting ready.

    Some things that helped:

    DIscussions and daily reminders: "When you get to school, find your sweater and PUT IT IN YOUR BACKPACK."

    Natural consequences and threats thereof: "I'm sorry. There are no mittens left in the stores because its February. I guess you can't go make a snowman." (side note - WHY can I not buy mittens in upstate NY in February? WHY is Target full of SWIMSUITS after Valentine's day, but all the mittens are gone? Just because its gettinn warm in California doesn't mean every store in the country has to sell that stuff!)

    Theft prevention: I know this goes against other safety rules, but I eventually labeled some of his things on the OUTSIDE of the item. His rash guard for swimming, for instance, has his last name in sharpie between the shoulder blades. I did it, and then we had a safety and strangers talk again, role played a stranger knowing his name and how a stranger might notice it from the shirt. We also have written his initials BIG in sharpie on mittens, etc. On the OUTSIDE, so that if anyone picks them up accidentally it will be noticed right away and if they steal them on purpose, they can't wear them in public without people asking "Who is WOH?"

    This seems like something that is improving with time and maturity, though. Not nearly as many problems this year so far (knock on wood)

  8. #8
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    Default Even worse with a uniform school...

    we loose things too. I have three kids wearing between them nearly the same sizes and everyone gets all the same looking stuff because of uniforms.

    So - everything is labeled and not just with name - but last name (who knows which child will be wearing it) and phone number.

    Things like lunch boxes (all look the same because most get from same place) and dark colored mittens and gloves get flourescent orange fabric paint on outside with last name and phone.

    Other clothes have iron in labels.

    I do the lost and found search about every 6 weeks or so because the kids just don't recognize it nor do they really search through the deep bins. Frankly - they never even have the time for it.

    I'm also the mean mom who makes the kids ride into school a bit cold this time of year because it will be warm in the afternoon and layers will be shed. And, if/when some things are lost they are either not replaced (if not absolutely needed) or they must be "worked" off or traded out with a planned shopping time for fun things. Nothing is worse than loosing a fun choice to replace a uniform sweater.

    Now, if you can give me hints how to keep DS from coming home with knees of his uniform shredded within the first month..........
    And who was the idiot that picked white uniform shirts for young grade schoolers and then give them paint and markers in art class. They do not make enough oxyclean and bleach to counter the effect of "washable" art supplies.

    FWIW - 9 year old in 4th grade is getting much better at all these issues.

  9. #9
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    ReneeNJ is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default We are constantly losing stuff...

    and it is usually coats w/ the 7 year old. Last year she lost two coats, one of which I haven't replaced and I'm just about to. That one disappeared between school and an off-campus brownie meeting and I called/emailed every parent and leader yet it never appeared -- I still think the host parent has it and won't fess up. This year DD lost a brand new fleece that DH sent in (he detagged it) w/o a name in it. I have checked the lost and found multiple times but it has yet to appear. Luckily I pick up from aftercare and can search the bins.

    Hats/mittens we have lots of and I buy extra mittens/gloves at the beginning of the season. They rarely have a pair that matches.

    We try to label w/ last names (I have two DDs and we do hand-me-downs). Amazingly at day camp they don't lose anything but at school they do.

    Good luck!
    Renee

  10. #10
    DD in DFW1 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Quote Originally Posted by di-bo View Post
    ...Now, if you can give me hints how to keep DS from coming home with knees of his uniform shredded within the first month..........
    And who was the idiot that picked white uniform shirts for young grade schoolers and then give them paint and markers in art class. They do not make enough oxyclean and bleach to counter the effect of "washable" art supplies.
    I had to actually tell DS#1 that he couldn't slide while playing whatever after he ripped out knees in 3 consecutive days. It has helped.

    And, our pizza day falls on the day they are required to wear white shirts. Who thought up that?

    Dana

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