Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: "News Blackout" already....

  1. #1
    Desneeze is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    809

    Default "News Blackout" already....

    Yep, I'm talking about my family. My awful, judgmental, condescending, omnipotent, pompus, mean-spirited family. My father told me I need to beat my son...that I'm not my son's friend, and it's my job to get him (son) in line, and the ONLY way to do it is thru fear and beatings. That I'M the reason my son has behavioral problems. He went on to state that he doesn't believe in any of that "psychology crap"....that is just an excuse for bad behavior. At the end of our phone conversation, when I told him that whether or not he believed in it, I was going that route, he said, "Good Luck". And then he hung up.

    My brother, who is just a sour, toxic person (and who has no kids, BTW) saw my son for the first time in several months, and the first words out of bro's mouth to my son were, "So...did you stab anyone today? (fyi..my son got suspended a month ago for "stabbing" a kid in the back w/a pencil and then "stabbing" the teacher in the leg w/the same pencil). Not "hello", not "how are things at school", but "did you stab anyone today?" He then continued the beratement of my son (I wasn't there when this was going on) for quite some time. No one (SIL, my mother) could stop him. When my mom told my brother to lay off, my brother said, "and that's why you have this problem kid...because you and Denise (me) baby him." My brother is an ass....always has been...always will be. All I can say is it must be so wonderful to have all the answers (hahaha). Anyway, I have decided that these people aren't allowed to know ANYTHING about what's going on w/my son. I'm sad that I have to do a news blackout, but it's the only way I can protect MYSELF. I'm so sick of them telling me what a bad mother I am, etc.

    Just a vent...thanks for listening.

    Denise, NOT a bad mother!!!

  2. #2
    trek is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,058

    Default

    Oh gosh how awful sending tons of
    I feel for you Denise. You are so far from being a bad mother.

  3. #3
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3,415

    Default Oh (Denise)

    I am sorry you have to face this. I am LOL though at your "news blackout" term, I like it and may use it.

    You know in your heart that your DS has issues that do not stem from behavior problems. People are ignorant. I personally never realized how ignorant people are until I had a DS who is beyond challenging. I've gotten the comments too "he needs a good beating" and "he is the devil" said right in front of him. People have no respect for my DS either and put him down and actually make the situation and behavior worse than usual.

    What I have learned to do is to not expose my DS to these toxic people who say hurtful things. So much easier said than done but for my sanity and my DS's self esteem, I have no choice. I know in my heart that my DS has a lot going on and it surely isn't because I am a "bad mother" as they all claim.

    Hang in there and stay strong. Having SN kids surely makes us stronger than we ever wanted to be.

  4. #4
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,365

    Default

    i would make sure that your family knows nothing about the things happening in your house. They are mean and awful. We have had to come right out and tell inlaws to stop critizing us because they have never dealt with a child like ours. Yes they had 3 boys but its not the same.

    I am so soryr.
    karen

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    349

    Default You are not alone...

    family is the worst, sometimes! My IL's are permanently on "blackout". I don't use this word lightly but I HATE them for their judgemental, lack of understanding, condescending, oh I could go on and on behavior.

    You do the best you can with the resources you have...the mental health stigma in this country is just absurd! If counseling and medicines can help--Why Not? Good for you for doing what's best for your family! Sorry you are suffering through this but know you are not alone!

    Big Hugs
    J

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    542

    Default

    That's horrible! I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You are doing the right thing by telling them nothing. You cannot change their behavior (no matter how much you want to) but you CAN change how you are going to deal with it by not allowing information out about him. You need to protect him and yourself.

    (((HUGS)))

    Paula

  7. #7
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,267

    Default

    Denise!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!
    YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER!





    Angi
    PS i can relate, i have a brother who sounds like your dad. Thankfully my brother has no children!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    526

    Default

    That really stinks!!! My Il's were on "blackout" (I like your terminology) for a long time, they finally have stopped blaming me for ds's allergies and ADHD. They are not a big part of his life and never will be but at least they are no longer pointing a finger.

    Stick to your guns--you are his mother, you are a good mother who is working hard to help him--you are the one who will always be on his side--too bad your family isn't on yours.

    Hugs,
    Susan

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •