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Thread: update to everything..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    66

    Default update to everything..

    We got our first letter from Bmom and feel very good about everything. I forgot in the first post. She is due the beginning of March. We will meet her on the 24th. We responded to her with a letter and am expecting another one back today. I believe that she even wants me in the delivery room and my dh will be close by to join us after delivery. I feel so good about this match. I want what is best for her too and do not feel threatened in any way like I thought I would. I may even go to a few doctor appointment with her in the end, we are still working that out.

    We go to court on TUes for the little one we have now. I am not sure exactly what will happen but I know we have to be coming to an end. Judge could terminate that day or we could go to trial, either way I feel for sure he isn't going back at this point.

    Please pray for all this. The only thing that isn't going great at this time is that my dh is now out of a job. Yes, you read right, 2 babies and adoptions to pay for and a dh without a job. We really believe in our heart that this will turn into a blessing it is just waiting that is hard.

    I really want to take the max allowed off from work but that will cut out some of my check. I will be docked for sub pay for most of the time b/c I used all my saved up days when I lost the triplets. I really do not think though that GOd would have me wait this long and not want me to take off all the time I can. So I am trusting it will all work out.

    OMGosh! Life is crazy!!!!!!!!!

    L

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    477

    Default

    Fingers crossed for everything to go well on Tuesday! I just cannot imagine him being any child but YOURS. I hope with all my heart the judge tpr's on Tues.
    And how exciting about meeting the bmom soon too... I am extremely envious of you! I wanted so badly to be able to meet my daughter's bmom at least once, but she decided she wanted a closed adoption. You're building memories that your future child will cherish. I've learned alot since entering the world of adoption; and bmom's are not nearly as threatening as I once thought. Chances are, she's probably really nervous and afraid you won't like her So, at least you'll have something in common right off the start. March will be here before you know it.
    I'm so sorry about your husband's job. It seems to be happening to everyone we know... Well, here's hoping that when a door closes, a window opens!
    Take care and thanks for the update. I swear I'm holding my breath for you!
    Jen

  3. #3
    sfpierce is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,281

    Default sorry about the job!!

    but I'm hoping all else goes well!! I'm really excited for you and keep hoping that I'll see a post about a forever family!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    66

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    Jen do you have any thoughts or ideas of ways to get financial supprt for being off for adoption? my disability insurance only covers when you give birth. someone suggested asking my counselor if she could say I needed off for mental illness. I know I got extra money for time off for mental illness after the triplets but I thought this maybe stretching it. are there any other options or insurance for adoptions?

    L

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    477

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    Quote Originally Posted by momccm View Post
    Jen do you have any thoughts or ideas of ways to get financial supprt for being off for adoption? my disability insurance only covers when you give birth. someone suggested asking my counselor if she could say I needed off for mental illness. I know I got extra money for time off for mental illness after the triplets but I thought this maybe stretching it. are there any other options or insurance for adoptions?

    L
    Oh man, I wish I did... We were fortunate that I'm already a sahm and Dh is in the military and they gave him 30 days of paid leave. But in your case, I don't know that I would attempt the mental illness; although I KNOW that an adoption (and CERTAINLY) the fost/adopt is MADDENING. My reasoning is this; I would not want to do anything to jeopardize the adoption. I was going through a fairly hard time after we adopted our daughter. She had reflux and cried pretty much 12 hours a day for nearly 4 months. Plus, bringing home a baby girl reopened my grief for my daughter that was stillborn. I needed, really needed to be on antidepressants or at least talk to a therapist. But I was so afraid that if I did and my post placement social worker found out, she'd take my daughter away. I don't know if that is even something that happens but I couldn't risk it.
    What if your husband got a job? Could you collect unemployment if you quit? I don't know your situation, but that's one thought. I know it doesn't seem like you have any good options right now. And since your dh is not working, I'm sure you're probably not able to stash away cash either. Is dh able to get unemployment? I hope that your options become clearer in the coming weeks. If I think of anything, I'll let you know, okay? Hang in there.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    66

    Default updated to update

    I heard today that the CPS case most likely will be continued for 6 months YUCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

    They say the reason is that since mom is considered incompetent that if she is not given a full year then she legally could come back and appeal then it would revoke our adoption. It seems no one thinks she will be able to work services even if she is considere competent in the near future. This does give dad another 6 months but given his track record I don't think this will change anything wtih him. However it is another 6 months of waiting!!!!!!!!!

    Tired so tired!

    L

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    199

    Default

    Oh Leslie, I will keep you in my prayers, but I just know everything is going to work our for you. Waiting seems to be the name of the game....here's wishing you all the patience in the world!

    Lilly

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    OMG, I am so sad and disgusted for you. What a screwed up system. Can I just be MAD?!?! Well, I know in my heart that this will work out. But I don't know how in the world you'll get through it with your sanity intact... Well, actually, I do know! You'll have a new baby in March to keep you SO BUSY you won't have time to worry I hate the system that your baby is stuck in. But I have faith that things will turn out in the long run. I just wish the run wasn't so long. I am sorry. Hug him tight and keep fighting for him. I know he's worth it.

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