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Thread: Friends

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    78

    Default Friends

    Is it normal to not want to be around your friends children? Ever since I found out we could not have children without IVF I have used every excuse possible to not be around them. These are some of my good friends. It doesn't bother me near as much to be around my family, but the kids I'm referring to were a product of fertility medications and procedures. It makes me so mad to hear that someone is pregnant and wasn't trying. It really just kills my soul. Sometimes I wonder if we did something wrong and we are being punished for it. Does ANYONE else have these feelings?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    1,235

    Default You're not alone!

    Hi,

    I have exactly the same feelings, except it's even hard for me to be around my family's children. When we have family gatherings, there could be 15 children and babies there and it is just too overwhelming for me. I stopped going to my friend's kids birthday parties because I get so sad (I am the only one with no children). I don't feel that it's jealousy but more of a sadness because I can't feel the joy that they get to experience. And a lot of times I wonder too if I'm being punished for something or why don't I deserve to have a baby. And also I get anxiety that what if nothing works. Infertility has a way of bringing out all these feelings. Big hugs to you and I hope that your wishes are answered soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    67

    Default sadness and children

    Absolutely it is extremely difficult for many men and women to be around other people's children when they are struggling to conceive. There are so many layers to the sadness and fear that it is hard to explain to others how much grief it causes - family is a universal phenomenon and how we create it is as much a map of our future as our own family is an explanation of our past you are aching for what so many assume - getting to the other side is extremely personal. The fear that you will always be on the outside is often what propels your desire to isolate - but of course this keeps you on the outside even more. I do recommend a resolve group which will help you to make contat with ohers in the same struggle - and continuing to post here also helps. Will write more when back in town on the 14th - kindest Liz

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    78

    Default

    Thank you I think that would help me. The more time that passes, the angrier I become about it. I pray and that always relieves the tension of it, but not for long. I don't suppose you're available for phone therapy are you???

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    67

    Default Suggestion

    You are welcome to e-mail me directly at mindingmatters@aol.com - I can help you find a therapist or resolve grop in your area - I am back in town on Saturday evening - best Liz

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    1

    Default Not alone

    I feel the exact same way around all children. I want so badly to be a mother that seeing other people with their children spins me into a depression I cant even name. My husband and I have been trying for our own for 7 years and have no luck at all. I dont have a period at all without medical help and no one can tell me exactly why. I hope things work out for everyone.

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