So it's very annoying to have started and ended my child bearing years with a m/c. It took many losses and surgeries to have twins and a singelton. We had a surprise pg when my youngest was 2..i always wanted an oopps. Here it was, all on it's own. Then on my birthday and close to the year after my fathers death I m/c again. Having had stage 4 endo and later confirmed adenomyosis also, I was so tired of the monthly game of...where is my af, am i pg, why do i feel yucky..am i pg etc.... it was such a sad way to think month after month. So I had a hysterecomy.
You would be surprised how stupid people are when you have kids and are mourning the loss of a pg. It's because I know how wonderfeul and amazing they are thats what makes it so awful. Who would this person have been?? They always say "but you have 3 children"
My due date would be April 30. I dread the end of the month for this reason. I was so sick of remembering due dates and losses etc.. and was happy about ending on a good note...you know? I dreamt of this baby, what she looked like, holding her...her name everything. Now I can't even look at a newborn, or hear about someones. I am in grief counseling for this and 2 deaths in the family with in 6 months of each other. Ending on this note is just so sad and final.
I am expecting a puppy to be born at the end of the month and that will give me something cute and happy to focus on. I mentioned this to a family member, trying to be open with how i feel thinking it would help me and their response was "GOOD LORD!" so I stopped answering my celll after that that night, I was so mad!