Hi all, I am new to the board and would like to share my story. I am 29 years old and am currently going through my 4th miscarriage, my first since 2 surgeries to repair a large uterine septum last year. I had miscarriage #1 at age 18, it was a missed miscarriage in which I was supposed to be 10 weeks along but the baby was only measuring 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat (I had started to bleed heavily which prompted the ultrasound). I do remember during the ultrasound the technician commenting on how my uterus was abnormally shaped, like a heart but didn't act like it was any big deal and I didn't think anymore of it. I was sent home to miscarry the baby which I did completely on my own. At that time, I was told "you're young, you'll have more" and that was that. Miscarriage #2 happened when I was 20. I was in a terrible situation (breaking up with a long-term boyfriend) and hadn't even told anyone I was pregnant. I was 7 weeks along when I started bleeding and never even went to a doctor. I figured if I didn't pass everything on my own like last time I would start having problems and would know, I know that was extremely irresponsible but it's what I did. I did pass the pregnancy on my own and never recieved any medical attention for that miscarriage. Losses #1 and #2 were with my long-term boyfriend who went on to have a healthy child with someone else.
When I was 25 I got married to someone else and quickly got pregnant. However the pregnancy seemed doomed from the start. I didn't even have a positive pregnancy test until I was 2 weeks late (and the line was faint then) and was told my hcg was only 40 at that time and we would have to wait and see what happened. A week later at 5 weeks I started spotting which quickly progressed to bleeding and I passed the baby on my own. At this point I demanded to see a reproductive specialist since I had 3 losses, and my OB/GYN readily agreed. I was referred to a reproductive endocronologist who proceeded to run every test available for miscarriage diagnosis (clotting disorders, chromosomal/genetic panel, etc) and everything came back OK. He then did a HSG and found I had a large septum, I then had an MRI and was told the septum went completely through my uterus, from top to cervix. In February 2008 I underwent a hysteroscopy with laparoscopy to surgically repair the septum. A few months after surgery I had another HSG and my Dr. told me the top of my uterus still had some septum to it, and in September 2008 he did another hysteroscopy to correct it further. After that surgery of course we thought the underlying problem was licked and I was very hopeful for my future. In February 2009 my husband and I conceived. A urine pregnancy test showed positive 10DPO. This made me feel good since previous tests had taken a long time to show positive and were very faint. My first hcg at 11DPO was 28, 3 days later was 228, progesterone 17.1. I had no issues problems except for terrible nausea with vomiting that started about 2 weeks later, I eventually had zofran prescribed for that and it helped a lot. This nausea made me happy because in my previous pregnancies I had never had much nausea or other symptoms of pregnancy. I actually felt pregnant! On April 1st at 5.5-6wks along I began spotting. At first it was a streak of maroon blood and then changed to brown blood. Of course I panicked because all of my previous miscarriages had started with spotting. I called my Dr. and he told me to go to the ER. In the ER my hcg was 13,121 and my ultrasound showed a fetal pole and gestational sac that seemed right as far as measurements went (no one said anything about a yolk sac and I didn't know to ask about it), no fetal HB was seen but I was told the fetal pole was only 4.8 and that until it was 5mm the HB probably wouldn't be seen. My vaginal exam showed a closed cervix and old blood only so we were slightly reassured. I then went home and stayed on the couch for a week waiting for my next ultrasound to recheck. During this time I continued to spot brown blood but very lightly, only when I wiped a few times a day. I was so distressed during this time, I was certain my baby was dead and that I was going to start bleeding at any time. Had the ultrasound on 4/8 when I was 7wk0days and low and behold a heartbeat! 124 beats per minute. I was shocked but very happy. My fetal sac had grown from 20 to 26 in the previous week but my measurements were only 6wks3days at that point and the Dr. said that concerned him a bit so we would recheck again in a week. At this point I was still spotting but felt good that we had seen the heartbeat. That was more than I had ever had in any of my other pregnancies. I was slightly reassured. For the next week I continued to spot, lightly but still there. On 4/15 I went in for another ultrasound and they could not find the heartbeat. The baby had died. The baby only measured 6wks4days at this point so it didn't make it too far after my previous ultrasound. The Dr. also said there was no yolk sac he could see, and that he hadn't seen a yolk sac in the previous ultrasound (when we saw the heartbeat) but he thought maybe it was hiding behind the fetus or we just couldn't see it, he said he was more focused on the fact we had a heartbeat. So of course I was completely devestated. I had a D&C two days later (I pushed for a D&C quickly because I had had a horrible experience with passing one of my miscarriages at home..I did not want to chance a repeat of that) and the baby was sent for genetic analysis. This happened 2 days ago and the analysis will not be back for 3 weeks. I am sad, devestated, and feel like I have lost all hope for the future. My Dr. says he is pulling at straws at this point (since my anatomical problem has been fixed and all other testing possible has been done with nothing else showing a problem) and that this may just have been a situation of bad luck but that maybe with the next pregnancy we might try heparin shots and aspirin just to see if it will work? I am kind-of confused as to why we would try that since the testing for clotting disorders came back normal but at this point I am willing to try anything. I do not think my uterus is still the problem because during this last pregnancy all of my ultrasounds showed a normal uterine appearance and one tech even remarked she would have never known I had uterine surgery if I hadn't told her.
I feel so despondent and depressed. I know that there are no guarantees in life..but with the 2 surgeries I had last year I just hoped so much that we would have a smooth pregnancy this time..I feel like my hope is gone at this point. Now I am wondering if I will ever hold a baby in my arms. I feel like my dream is dying. I guess in all this there are 2 positives to my situation: #1: I get pregnant very easily. Each time I have tried to get pregnant I have conceived within 1-2 months. and #2: I am fairly young, at 29 years old. I just want to have hope again, for the future. My husband and I plan on trying again this summer (my Dr. said we can try one cycle after my first period but we want to wait a little longer..I need more time to recover psychologically I think) but we are totally terrified. It is so hard because we were so hopeful that we saw a heartbeat this time but I know for whatever reason God knew it wasn't meant to be.
If anyone has had successes or failures after uterine septum repair surgery I would love to talk to you. Please email me at: kacylynn@yahoo.com. Thanks for listening to my story, it felt good just to get it out.
-Kacy