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Thread: Doesn't look like DS is going to get an IEP

  1. #1
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Doesn't look like DS is going to get an IEP

    I've fought the good fight and it looks like I am losing. DS is going to have to fail in school before he gets any type of help. I'm having him tested by the school now and he is doing wonderfully in every test. Two people from the child study team saw him in preschool and think he is excelling.

    The preschool teacher even advised them he is doing great.
    Today in his conference she explained how he has a difficult time focusing and is distracted by little things and can't get back on track. He has a hard time sitting still and doing his work. Oh, and he can't write. She said she is worried about him. I told her another person is coming to see him at preschool and to p-l-e-a-s-e tell them EVERYTHING she said to me in the conference. She's with him 3 days a week and has the same concerns I do and has vocalized it to me. He went for testing yesterday by a member of the child study team (new person, new experience) and she said how focused he was. URG. That is because it was new and exciting. If she tried to sit with him daily it would all bomb.

    I just can't win over here. I have the meeting in 3 weeks but it doesn't look good for him at all. He is extremely social, has exceptional verbal and language skills, which is what the child study team is so impressed with. He fools a lot of people the way he can work a room. But his focus/attention span/distractability/lack of writing are going to be a problem. I see it a mile away. How come no one else can?

    Thanks for letting me vent.

  2. #2
    trek is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default

    I truly think a lot of states face tough financial times and that plays out in school systems-tighter budgets. On tests a child must score so far behind the standard deviation, but all school systems have different guidelines. So a child who just misses making that might not receive services. Does the school system offer an other academic help? In our county they have something called EIP-for children who come into kindergarten behind on the standards already.

    Good luck, try and think positive.

  3. #3
    BriNJ is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I'm sorry they didnt find anything but Im not suprised. Our schools just dont know what to do with a child that doesnt fit what they expect a problem to look like. Your ds sounds like my dd in some ways and honestly, since we cant find answers for her even with my colleagues helping us, I cant truly expect that the school magically will. While you see the focus, attention span and distractibility issues as a problem, they may not be enough of a problem for the school. And as for lack of writing, well, many kids go into K with zero writing skills. From the school's point of view, he is within norms on everything- from your point of view, there are too many warning flags of something going on.

    You did what you needed to do in alerting the school to the potential problems. Now you have to let them do thier job and educate him. Yes, it feels like letting him fail in school- but you dont know how its going to play out yet. The next year will give you and the school some valuable data on him. And trust me, if the school sees a problem with him, they will be right back to you with it. They may not have anything constructive to offer- but use this opportunity to get active in your child's classroom. Volunteer every week if you can, get to know his teacher, help her out- and stay in communication. Remember though, if he is learning at an appropriate pace, the school wont really care if he's distracted unless it causes them problems (my dd is very distractible- turns out she has auditory processing problems and memory iimpairment plus some motore planning issues- not enough to get her help but enough to disrupt her day. from the school's point of view, they dont have anything they can address other then try to support her by giving her extra time, the ability to leave the class and work in the hall etc). Knowing that the school doesnt see anything outside of the norm right now- can you have his teacher write up her concerns with examples? Then use that in the fall to meet with his teacher and let her know that the preschool had concerns and this is what they said?

    I know you are upset and I'd be too. But it sounds like you've done what you could for your DS- you've had private evals, a school eval, you've talked to his teachers, to the future school etc. And though there is something going on, it doesnt seem like something that is obvious. It may take time for someone to finally get it. Dont give up on figuring it out but also dont spend all of your energy on this yet until you know what he needs and why he needs it. Maybe this year will show you what is going on- let's hope so.

    Hugs
    Bri

  4. #4
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I think you are right

    There is such a huge span of normal and I keep hearing that everything will eventually just "click" for him. I just don't feel like it is going to happen for him. We don't have an EIP but I'll look into any extra help I can get for him when he starts school. And we'll keep going to OT and trying to teach him to write.

    Thanks for your support.

  5. #5
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Thanks Bri

    I think you are right--no one can figure this kid out, not even the "experts" I told DH that I cannot spend all this energy trying to get him help when no one sees the problem. It's so frustrating.

    They agree he can't write (well, all but one of them) but that is it. His writing will never really click because of his Erb's palsy in that hand, which is his dominant hand. He'll always have these issues.

    Ironically, well meaning strangers come up to me all the time to sympathize. I hear a lot of "oh, I feel for you, my child was just like that at that age, and now in college still struggles with ADHD." These people aren't trying to be mean, they just see a child who climbs the walls and can immediately tell something is off and feel bad because they have been there.

    It's a no win situation right now and I need to accept it. They are going to see it when he starts school. Not in Kindergarten--he'll sail right through and they'll continue telling me what a wide range of normal there is. And it's only 2.5 hours. When he starts first grade and has to sit at a desk for 6 hours and do a lot of writing it is all going to fall apart, unfortunately.

    As always, thank you for your support and kind words. It helps to come here with people who "get it."

    We'll have to try to plan a NJ meetup one day maybe this summer.

  6. #6
    chris s is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default How old is he? Could you repeat preschool? My DS

    is 5 3/4yrs old and he struggles a lot with writing. He has a lot of visual perceptual issues, and often b/c he is so verbal and high functioning he is overlooked.

    Do you do private OT, etc? That has been our salvation and how we have gotten as good of IEP's as we have, although I think that they generally put a 'rosier' picture on the IEP than is really true.

    Chris

    My DS by the way is dx is Asperger's.

  7. #7
    Reese14 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default He's almost 5.5

    We do private OT and two different OTs picked up a possible visual processing problem in addition to his hand weakness. He scored less than 1% on one visual perception test and if I recall, 5% on another. It was very concerning. That is how we got him in the door for testing with our school system. But their tests show that he is extremely intelligent. I can't win here. I'm not disputing his intelligence but his ability to learn and write.

    Does your DS walk into things as well? Everywhere we go, I am on edge that he is going to walk right into something. He'll walk into a pole when it is right in front of him. His eyes have been tested 2x so this isn't a vision problem. Wondering if your DS has that same issue where he constantly walks right into things.

  8. #8
    chris s is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default My DS does not tend to walk into things, but he is generally

    very cautious. He does score either over 100 or 0 (literally), which I am told is common in ASD kids. He also has very poor muscle memory, ie. every time he holds a pencil it is like the first time he picked one up.
    This summer I am in hopes of having his tested for gifted in order to balance out his IEP.
    Chris

  9. #9
    TaraWB is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default My son was just de-classified also.

    We are in shock as are his pre-school teachers and therapists. I have been very assertive with the school district in fighting this. On the advice of an attorney I am having independent evals done at district expense (this is my right in NY, not sure about NJ) by the top specialists in the area.
    My advice to you is keep fighting. If they know you are not a pushover, they may back down. Sounds like you need a diagnosis for your son. Have you had a psych and an ADOS eval? Don't go to your sons meeting alone, (big mistake on my part) bring all the backup and ammo you can.
    Best of luck to you, this can be so frustrating. Please keep us posted.

  10. #10
    trek is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    A dx does NOT automatically mean IEP. Really look at the wrightslaw website to understand about IDEA.

    Q: How is a decision made about my child’s eligibility for special education?
    A: There are two criteria that must be met for your child to be eligible for special education.
    Does your son or daughter have a disability?
    Does your child "by reason thereof, need special education and related services"?
    Does the child's disability adversely affect educational performance? To be eligible for a free, appropriate public education (FAPE) under the IDEA, the child must have a disability and must need special education and related services.


    Q: What happens if the school says my child is not eligible for special education services?
    A: If the group decides that your child is not eligible for special education services, the school system must tell you this in writing and explain why your child has been found “not eligible.”
    Under the IDEA, you must also be given information about what you can do if you disagree with this decision.
    Read the information the school system gives you. Make sure it includes information about how to challenge the school system’s decision. If that information is not in the materials the school gives you, ask the school for it.


    What is special education?
    Special education is instruction that is specially designed to meet the unique needs of children who have disabilities. This is done at no cost to the parents. Special education can include special instruction in the classroom, at home, in hospitals or institutions, or in other settings.
    Over 5 million children ages 6 through 21 receive special education and related services each year in the United States. Each of these children receives instruction that is specially designed:
    a. to meet the child’s unique needs (that result from having a disability); and
    b. to help the child learn the information and skills that other children are learning.





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