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Thread: Update on boy scouts..

  1. #1
    chris s is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Update on boy scouts..

    I talked to a third party intermediary yesterday, she in turn called my friend who had been at the meeting and heard the "wacko" statement. The friend who heard this statement does not want to file a complaint and completely backed down....called me begging me not to say anything afterwords.

    After that, my OT called me back. The OT sees my son (dx: Aspie's) and my friend's son (dx:PPDNOS) and knows us both. She thought it was really strange that the friend would call me about this, not defend my DS, etc.... She also thought it was odd that this guy would call DS a "wacko", in her opinion DS has really good social skills for an Aspie. (DS tends to be very quiet in groups, he often will leave the situation if someone is doing something wrong....) DH always goes to the meetings and he says that DS hasn't ever done anything too odd... Anyhow, long story but the OT recommends that we go again and DH try to descretely talk to this guy. The OT wonders what really happened and if the discussion was about someone else.......(The friend's child is not as high functioning as DS)...

    Interesting....After these developments I will be interested to hear y'all's take on the situation.

    Thanks.

    Chris

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default Just my opinion.......

    I don't think this is super uncommon. People, in general, know things are wrong and don't stand up because they don't want to either suffer the consequences themselves or they don't want their own children to have to suffer the consequences.
    Personally, if a "friend" did this to me...told me that my kid was mistreated in some way and then refused to tell the proper authorities, the "friendship" would never be the same.
    Joy.













    Quote Originally Posted by chris s View Post
    I talked to a third party intermediary yesterday, she in turn called my friend who had been at the meeting and heard the "wacko" statement. The friend who heard this statement does not want to file a complaint and completely backed down....called me begging me not to say anything afterwords.

    After that, my OT called me back. The OT sees my son (dx: Aspie's) and my friend's son (dx:PPDNOS) and knows us both. She thought it was really strange that the friend would call me about this, not defend my DS, etc.... She also thought it was odd that this guy would call DS a "wacko", in her opinion DS has really good social skills for an Aspie. (DS tends to be very quiet in groups, he often will leave the situation if someone is doing something wrong....) DH always goes to the meetings and he says that DS hasn't ever done anything too odd... Anyhow, long story but the OT recommends that we go again and DH try to descretely talk to this guy. The OT wonders what really happened and if the discussion was about someone else.......(The friend's child is not as high functioning as DS)...

    Interesting....After these developments I will be interested to hear y'all's take on the situation.

    Thanks.

    Chris

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    223

    Default My .02 - Either way

    the scout leader shouldn't have said what he said and should be approached. It is possible to discuss it without specifying whom the statement was referring to. Does the person who first relayed the exchange stand by the fact that it happened? If so, then I say approach the leader and say that you are concerned that these terms were used in a meeting setting. That the term "wacko" is inappropriate and extra emphasis should be placed on the "respect" of each individual. It doesn't need to be about one person. I think most of us can use a reminder of how we all should treat one another (and yes, some people need it more than others).

    Anne

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Default true....

    I think it is a good idea about letting your husband bring it up. True...you weren't there...maybe there was some kind of misunderstanding or a poor choice of words or maybe it was a bad day for him...not that any of that is a good excuse. I would be ticked off if it happend to my child or another child. And, I still hold the viewpoint that I posted above about people in general and who I would want as a friend.
    However, it gives him the chance to explain himself or deny it and being confronted puts him on notice that he had better behave or you might not be so understanding next time.

    Of course, none of us really know your relationship with him or your friend. You are the only one who can make a good decision here based on your experiences with all of the players.

    Good luck.
    Joy







    Quote Originally Posted by amarie1 View Post
    the scout leader shouldn't have said what he said and should be approached. It is possible to discuss it without specifying whom the statement was referring to. Does the person who first relayed the exchange stand by the fact that it happened? If so, then I say approach the leader and say that you are concerned that these terms were used in a meeting setting. That the term "wacko" is inappropriate and extra emphasis should be placed on the "respect" of each individual. It doesn't need to be about one person. I think most of us can use a reminder of how we all should treat one another (and yes, some people need it more than others).

    Anne

  5. #5
    trek is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default

    I did not respond to the original post and I am sorry.
    Definitely let your dh find out what really happened. Keep us updated-

  6. #6
    chris s is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default It will definitely affect my relationship with my friend, and

    with this other boy's family. My friend is always one-upping me in the "my child knows all the sight words for the next year, and we never do flashcards...." sort of sense. So, I am backing off.

    In a good sense, this has made me talk to a couple other families in our school about playdates. It is probably good to branch out anyway.

    Honestly, the child who's father made the statements, has never really impressed me. Everyone raves b/c he can read, but he comes to our house and has to be entertained... and his parents have always been rather stand offish, it seems obvious now that they were using me as free babysitting (they drop off their son for the afternoon and go........), they have reciprocated some but, most of the time it is us intiating something.

    We are considering another troop. Our neighbor behind us is a leader of another nearby troop that is way more active (the troop we are in does all classwork type badges), he is a civil engineer and they do a lot of mechanical stuff and community service.

    But, in short, w/out this friend being willing to back up her statements I don't think it is appropriate for me to do anything other than have DH deal with it.

    Thanks.
    Chris

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