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Thread: Twin toddlers - daycare question!

  1. #1
    JDeeseNC Guest

    Default Twin toddlers - daycare question!

    Hello there, I need some opinions please. I'm torn about something our daycare is suggesting for our twins.

    I have an older son (6yrs tomorrow), and identical twin boys (2.5yrs). The twins are in daycare because I work from home full time. They have been in the same daycare since they were born, large national chain, and have moved up thru the different "year" rooms. More lately, the 2 main teachers in the 2yr old room are telling me that the twins just cut up a lot together, and make it difficult to have circle time, they fight over the same toys a lot, and tend to be more disruptive when they are together. They say that when the boys are separated sometimes, they are more attentive to their surroundings, and behave differently. They have said that it seems the boys are tired of being around each other all the time at home and at school. However, 1 of the teachers did say that their cousin, who is also at the daycare, is the same way with them. The twins only see their cousin at daycare, not much of any other time.

    I'm not totally opposed to separating them, but the way I'm hearing it from the teachers, it sounds like "they are disruptive, too rowdy, so we need to have them in separate classrooms". It seems almost like a punishment. Having 3 boys at home, I may be used to a different level of chaos than the 20-somethings that are the teachers. I don't want to discredit the education and training they have received, and the experience they do have on the job, but I'm a little skeptical of whether the "issue" would be resolved more by their intervening and redirecting, versus just separating them. It seems the twins are not the only ones in the class who are rowdy, and to some extent it feels like a "copout" to me. I also wish they were a little more proactive with potty training, these young teachers (20-something) have not potty trained many groups yet (they have admitted), so the main push behind the potty training at school tends to be whatever the parents can get done at home. They don't really have a process or a phase that they try to help the kids go thru, they just kind of let whatever happens happen.

    Anyway, I don't want to have the twins overdependent on each other, but the thought of officially putting them in separate classrooms because they're being too "boyish" makes me sad. If one were not talking because the other one did all the talking I could maybe see it more (but that is not the case - they are both communicating well and have their own friends within the class).

    Thoughts?? Opinions?? I need them!!! I don't want to keep them from something that may be beneficial, but I'm trying to deal with why it feels like the teachers are "copping out" from having to work through the issue.


  2. #2
    chris s is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Default We separated our twins when they went to preschool.

    They were together for about the first six months and since then they have been separated. They are seven now, and I would be ok with them being together, but I do think that it was good that they were apart. To me it leads to less competitiveness and they have developed more on their own. My twins still see each other at lunch and at recess. And admittedly, it is easier to manage them when they are separated, they are completely different when they are apart.
    Good luck!

  3. #3
    seals is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
    Join Date
    Jan 2006


    I have an older DS (now 12) and twin DSs (now almost 10) who went to daycare from 3 mos until they started K. There was only one class per year at the daycare. From the time they were old enough to move around my twins pretty much only got in trouble with each other. They followed all the rules with the other kids but totally ignored the "keep your hands to yourself," "don't call names," "share," etc. with each other. They did also share a room at home so they were together 24/7. If I'd been able to separate them after about 3 years old I think I would have. I separated them as soon as they started K and they both did fine. This year, 4th grade, they switch classes so it's the first time they have had a class with each other since daycare. They're in 2 classes together and at my suggestion they sit on opposite sides of the room. Just last night we saw their daycare teacher from when they were 4/5. She is a wonderful older woman. And we were laughing about how they used to pick on each other in her class. She still remembers that. Good luck and it will work out whatever you decide. Go with your instinct about your kids.

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