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Thread: Those with dd's and a dx of ADHD, looking back what were the first signs to you?

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    Default Those with dd's and a dx of ADHD, looking back what were the first signs to you?

    This is a question about my "other" just 4 y/o twin E (not C with dx of Dyspraxia, Apraxia and low tone). I know a lot of what E is doing right now is typical, but she has always been such an intense child that some of the typical 4 y/o stuff is seeming a bit intense too. Always moving, the inability to "hear" when focused on something, the non-stop grabbing (especially from her sister), the "command" voice, daredevil antics on the playground, bossy. She is very strong, very verbal, plays mostly with boys although will do play schemes with dolls, dress-ups, wants to play in my make-up etc. She has hit every milestone early. Cries at the drop of a hat when hurt\frustrated (or throws the thing) - kinda like she has no filter (like her mamma????) Again a lot of this is totally fine and "nuero-typical" , but makes me wonder.... School (Montessori) says she is not disruptive in class and has focus and no longer wants to take\butt in on jobs other kids are doing and is academicaly ahead of many same-aged peers.

    I have heard that ADHD is under diagnosed in girls because it often manifests itself differently.

    So, those of you with dd's you now know have ADHD, does anything in hindsight stand out as red flag re: your child?

    (can you tell I am tired of herding cats to get out the door in the morning??????)

  2. #2
    pepperlc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Aggression and implusivity where the big ones. It really was very obvious.
    k

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    E definitely has both. Thanks for the insight. How early did you notice it in your dd?

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    Troy is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    It's much more obvious once a child reaches school, but here are the things that stood out:

    1. Inconsistency in school achievement
    2. Got along much better with younger children
    3. Forgot things, alot
    4. Left things all over the place (clothes, books, whatever)
    5. Highly drawn to computer
    6. Impulsive (to the point of endangering herself on a few occasions)
    7. Wandering off without telling us

    It's when many of these behaviors persisted well past the point when you might have expected her to mature out of them that we got help.

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    Thanks Troy:

    Twin 2 is definitely impulsive and a daredevil and constantly having bumps and bruises in her antics which she never seems to remember. She is also very difficult to draw away from TV or her V-reader and so I set tight limits.

    I guess only time will tell. Thanks so much for your insights.

    Di

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    ReneeNJ is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I knew from preschool age....

    Emma (11, 6th grade, ADHD-inattentive type) has always been a "high maintenance" kid. If she didn't sleep, we all didn't sleep. If she was unhappy, we all were. She quit napping at about 2 and rarely napped before. As a baby we had to swaddle her to get her to sleep. When they put her down for nap at daycare, she would peel the drywall paper off the walls, etc. They had to keep her away from other kids during naptime.

    Emma is a very bright, engaging, inquisitive kid. Her verbal skills have always been ahead. She was asked to be a community peer in an integrated pre-school b/c of her verbal abilities. Starting at age 4 I was having conferences w/ the pre-school teachers (special ed) about behavior, etc. Cute charming kid at school was a nightmare at home. Challenging constantly, etc.

    Kindergarten she got comments on her report card -- instead of "is distracted" it was crossed out and said "is distracting". First conference, K teacher said "lovely, engaging kid". We warned her that Emma was figuring out the lay of the land and once she had done that, she would start to challenge. At report card next quarter, one line comment "Do you have daily power struggles w/ Emma as I do?". Ah, Emma was showing her true colors. They reached a detente buy the end of the year but I still tease that the K teacher retired b/c of Emma!

    She was in a multi-age 1/2 classroom for the next two years. The teacher also happens to have her special ed cert and is a great teacher. Mrs. H worked w/ Emma all year and found that she really had trouble focusing and couldn't "show what she knows". This continued through 2nd grade. Mrs. H continued to work w/ her and really tried (and I think that it helped that she had the same teacher for two years b/c she knew Emma well). We had delayed the eval b/c I was dealing w/ major health issues and also our ped shut us down between 1st and 2nd. At the end of 2nd grade we did a full learning eval (private). We found out that Emma was really smart (to me she is scary smart) but had problems staying on-task, etc. and diagnosed ADHD-inattentive type.

    Emma started meds in 3rd grade and it made a big difference w/ her. We never had formal services for her in elementary and just dealt w/ the teachers. I requested services in 6th grade b/c I knew that executive function stuff increase and was denied. She doesn't fall behind -- making A's and high B's generally but struggles w/ organization, turning in her work that is completed, and projects. She refuses help from us and of course we have the "tween" attitude too. She takes Concerta at 7 AM and little is left by the time homework rolls around and it also interferes w/ sleep and appetite (she rarely eats lunch at designated lunchtime of 1030 A). Emma always starts the school year out strong and slowly goes downhill -- this is starting to happen now as we head to the end of the second marking period.

    ADHD in girls is underdiagnosed b/c it doesn't exhibit typically w/ impulsivity, hyperactivity, classroom disruption, etc. Emma has a little of the physical stuff -- shoes off, fidgets, etc. but that has also gone down as she has gotten older. She is very compliant in the classroom/outside environments. She is helpful w/ other children (regardless of the child) to this day. One of her best buddies I would guess is somewhere on the spectrum and has learning differences -- she gets her and appreciates her. When not diagnosed in girls early enough, a lot of damage to self esteem can be done, especially if they are struggling. My older sister most likely has ADHD, is very bright (smarter than me) but also has dyslexia. A lot of damage was done to her self esteem and I don't think that she has ever recovered from it. It was also a different era -- she started 1st grade in 1963 (she also I think has always had a grudge against me for messing up her first day of first grade -- I inconvenienced her by being born!). FYI, my mom says that my sister was also always a high maintenance kid and that Emma is very much like her! Not necessarily a good thing since my sister and I have never had the greatest relationship.

    ADHD also impacts executive function skills -- from googling:
    Specifically, executive function provides the ability to self-regulate and monitor our behaviors through:
    • Planning and organization
    • Keeping track of time
    • Being able to accomplish more than one thing at a time
    • Recalling past knowledge and using it in a current situation
    • Evaluating progress and changing course when needed
    • Completing tasks or work on schedule
    • Understanding and engaging in group dynamics, including waiting turns during conversations
    • Seeking out additional resources or information or asking for help when needed
    • Ability to control emotions
    Emma has problems w/ most of these items and we are trying to give her the skills/tools to address them. Problem is, she doesn't want to hear it, especially around school stuff. There are days she can't find her lunch in her backpack, refuses to have us sign off on stuff and loses points b/c of it, refuses to let us review work/projects, can't find her work to turn in although it is complete, etc. She's in her first year of middle school in a much larger school although her team is about the size of her elementary school class (~100 kids). Two of her classes are integrated classes -- I don't know if she was placed in those classes b/c of the ADHD or b/c of her flexibility in working w/ all types of kids.

    I hope this helps. If you search this forum on my username there are other detailed posts about the evaluation that Emma had. Please feel free to ask any more questions that you might have.

    Renee

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    Troy is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    I could have written this, except I think Emma exhibits more extreme symptoms than my dd ever has, but otherwise very similar. High maintenance, high drama, in addition to the disorganization.

    I have to say that looking back, the middle school transition is the hardest year of the entire K-12 school experience, even for kids without ADHD or other learning issues. The trouble we have always had with my ADHD dd is that she wants to "be" like the other kids -- to have the same level of responsibility, not be babied, etc., but she has never been able to handle it -- and she is an excuse making machine when things don't get done (homework doesn't get handed in, etc.). If it isn't someone else's fault, then it's because there was no real point to the assignment anyway. We were so worried about high school that we put her in a private school with very small classes, and after one year of that she kind of got it -- being in class with others who had to be pushed and prodded and prompted constantly more or less gave her resolve to go back to the public school with her friends and try harder. So far, things are going well.

    I also found that putting her in sleep away camp was extremely beneficial -- it got us out of the nagging trap and forced her to take more responsibility for herself. This isn't an option for everyone, but we found it to be invaluable.

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    Default I can see a lot of my daughter in Troy and Renee's posts

    She is 9 1/2 and has a twin sister.She has always been much more high maitenence and a drama queen. She was diagnosed through testing in 2nd grade.
    I knew something was wrong in comparing the 2 probably around kindergarten and kept on talking to her teachers. She is bright but just wasn't learning.I was so lucky she had an amazing teacher in 2nd grade who just didn't tell me she'll grow out of it and after diagnosis and medication this teacher brought her up to grade level.Also early on I had noticed she just couldn't sit still and play her DS or computer games and doing homework with her was daily torture for me.
    We still struggle and Dr just changed her medication to Focalin twice a day .We will start this on Tuesday hoprfully since I'm having some insurance company problems with this med .Lately her grades are all over the place and she is making home life brutal fo her sister and myself. I just got her in a program for self esteem and am hoping to find a social group for her as well. She has a very strong personality so maybe all can't be attributed to ADD
    She is very bossy with other kids and she does have some issues with kids liking her because of this.She does great with younger kids.

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    Default Forgot to add

    I sometimes say my daughter is like Linus from Charlie Brown .Wherever she goes ther is a pile of mess. No matter how many times she gets punished for her messes she just constantly creates them.And as far as school stuff she doesn't want my help but is constantly disorganized and fights with me when I try to help.She is only in 4th grade I dread the higher grades.

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    jeninnc is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    my older dd presented a bit differently - she was just lost in her own world. The problem was, she was smart enough in K-3 to be able to earn A's without paying attention. It's now catching up with her in 4th.

    She also has some classic symptoms- fidgity, silly mistakes in homework, inconsistant grades, time management.

    My younger dd manifested much like your dd at that age.....I am fairly certain she'll have an adhd diagnosis by 3rd/4th as well. It's fairly strong in the genetic lines of both sides of our families.

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