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Thread: Ack... so disappointed... and tired about people making

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    NancyR's Avatar
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    Default Ack... so disappointed... and tired about people making

    assumptions about dd!

    I had applied for her to be part of a mentoring program for kids with LDs... and had mentioned that she had minor CP, which means she walks with a limp.

    Here is the organization's response:
    Our programs are specifically designed for students whose language-based learning disability and/or ADHD is their primary disability, so unfortunately I don't think our program would be a good fit for your daughter.

    Keep in mind currently her biggest handicap IS her learning disability, especially in school! Which of course I mentioned in my response (yes, I got all mama bear), in correcting the organization's assumption as to what her primary disability is.... along with the suggestion that perhaps they should expand the definition of their program by a hair's width to include children like my dd...



    What is wrong with people?? Done venting... but really so tired of this crap...

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    and I received the response as follows:

    Sorry for my mistake! Our project is definitely an appropriate fit for her then.

    Oy... I think they have to have some sensitivity training for their 20 something employees!!

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    Uuugh. Double uuugh. Thankfully it was corrected, but I would have been annoyed!

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    Yep, and I'm thinking long and hard about enrolling her... it's supposed to be a mentoring project, college students paying it forward to their younger LDs... type of thing. I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity....

    Well, I'll consider for another day or so and see... It can either be fantastic, or a waste of time!

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    Default how long does the program last?

    Is it a big committment on your DD and your part or short term? What is the person in charge of the program like? Do you think you could impact a long term change in the organization with your DD's participation and do you want to? Sometimes changing from within is feasible but I know I don't have the energy (nor does DS) to necessarily "educate" everyone that comes along that "could" benefit. Let us know what you decide and how it goes.

    Anne

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    OMG OMG. I really feel for you. I am waiting with my heart in my throat for confirmation from a summer theater day camp in our neighborhood that they are not going to balk at taking Evan. I too can do the "education" but it gets exhausting. I always want to be clear about where he has limitations -- I do essentially what you did here "he fits your criteria and here is my deposit and please sign him up, and by the way please note that he has mild CP, which means that he walks awkwardly and isn't great in gym class, but does just fine in school without special equipment. For you in theater camp, this means he should not be cast as the monkey who climbs the tree or sprints away, but will do just fine as the villager who talks to the animals. Please call me for more info." You get the idea. Then I wait for a call from the director saying "um, we are welcoming to all children, but . . . ."

    So here is my question for you: did you correspond only with a 20-something, or is there maybe an actual grown-up with whom to raise this concern?

    And anyway, their response is soooooo ignorant; have they never heard of "co-morbidities"? They really think that they can limit their program to "pure LD" kids who have nothing else going on? (OK I know they said "primary," but the reality is that *they* are the ones who assumed that the CP is "primary"! Because "CP" still freaks people out. Soooooo ignorant, I am so steamed on your behalf and I promise you *we have soooo been there*!

    Lisa

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    Meanwhile.... we went to my brother's political club this evening.. and met one of our state assemblymen... who also happens to have CP... We will make a point of staying in touch with him. He was so sweet with dd, and had a beautiful chat with her! She said she was just happy to learn there are people like her out there, and it's always wonderful to meet them.

    I had a chance to plug the need for affordable housing for for families with children with disabilities, and that medical and educational expenses for an adult or dependent with a qualified disability should be deducted from your income (even a 5 year average!)... Currently, it doesn't make an impact... He said he's working on changing that... step by step! Great seeing politics at work, starting with the local and really a great opportunity for dd to impact some of the current legislation out there affecting children with disabilities (reminds the politicos who they need to fight for!)....

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    And just when you were feeling (temporarily) exhausted by people's ignorance, you got yourselves to this wonderful event! So glad that you and Sweet Pea got the emotional boost from talking with him -- and that you were working to help others at the same time! Never ends, does it . . . just living our lives is advocacy in a way. Both exhilerating and exhausting at the same time!

    Lisa

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    You nailed it!! I'm thinking scrap the mentoring project - we have a politico to mentor her instead, lol!! : ) Would be a nice summer intern job in a few years when she's 14 (if I can talk her out of her favorite summer camp - where she wants to become a CIT one day, lol!! Oh this is funny on so many levels..)..

    Really, I just get tired of the ignorance.... I get this awful feeling like I want to kick them in the knees or push them over when they say something stupid.. So very childish of me, lol!!

    Enjoy the weekend everyone!! : )

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