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Thread: New here--could use some advice and hugs!

  1. #1
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    Default New here--could use some advice and hugs!

    My dd, age 9, has had trouble in school for some time. She does well enough to get by, but clearly has some issues. After lots of reading and observation, I'm reasonably sure she has SPD; she may also have ADD.

    I am so tired and lost tonight. Today was the first full day of the first full week of school. I thought dd was doing OK, until I checked her math homework. Once again, she just doesn't get it. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find a way to explain things to her that makes the light-bulb go on. I get so frustrated for her, when she starts to cry and says she is no good at math and will never be good at anything.

    Then I check her spelling, and she has mis-spelled words she only has to copy from one place to another. Yet she clearly understood their meaning (the work was grouping different words of the same meaning). And somehow I think they are going to start frowning on her creative spelling.

    I know I need to get her evaluated. The school tells me they have 60 school days to do this. If I'm counting right, that means we lose the beginning of the year (leaving her, effectively, so far behind she is unlikely to catch up). I have gotten a couple of leads on occupational therapists (none of whom are on our insurance, of course). But I don't know where to start with the academic evaluation, even if we could afford to do it independently.

    Mostly, I just need to know how I am going to find the time to do everything that needs to be done this year. I finally got the kids to bed at 9:30, and I have easily 2 or 3 hours worth of stuff to do before I can go to bed (books to cover, dishes, alterations to uniforms that have to be done before tomorrow so the clothes will actually go on and stay on--you sensory people know what I mean!), and I have to get up at 5 to be at work by 7. I really have to have everything in order (clothes, backpacks, lunches) because the kids will be really tired tomorrow morning, and DH has been on an incredibly short fuse lately--the last thing the kids need (dd especially) is him blowing up.

    Thanks if you've read this far--didn't mean to write a book. Any and all coping suggestions would be welcomed!

    Lorraine

  2. #2
    Val. is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    First. Hugs. Second, coping...I'm not doing so well at that myself these days.

    I think you're doing a great thing getting her evaluated. It does sound like she's having some learning issues and it's only going to help to know what's going on. Yes, they have 60 days. The only way to speed that process up is to have her evaluated privately. In the meantime, is it possible to hire a tutor? Go to a learning center? See if the school has a tutoring or remedial program?

    FWIW, they will most likely only evaluate her educationally. If you want to have her evaluated for ADD or SPD, you will probably have to do that privately.

    My son has SPD and other stuff. It's pretty complex and amazing how it can affect them in so many different ways. It's also very difficult to determine if there is also ADD or to distinguish between the two.

    Good luck and we're here!
    Val

  3. #3
    zoeyz is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Hugs. If you can, find someone outside of the school district to do an independent evaluation of her (I'd still pursue the school route at the same time). I'd try to identify someone who can do a comprehensive evaluation of her (an OT might have limitations as to what he/she can diagnose).

    I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed hugs.

  4. #4
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    mickey2 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default not much time to post...

    but i wanted to say hi and welcome you. its tough to figure out whats going on with some of our kids. a developmental ped and/or neuropsychologists are the best types of docs to do private evals for the issues you mention. an ot trained about spd is invaluable for spd therapy/ideas/etc. im off to get my bday pedicure. hugs

  5. #5
    Suzi is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default Here's a link to ldonline.org about who can diagnose

    LD's and ADHD. I agree that I'd pursue a private evaluation and also the school exam at the same time. Sometimes it can take 60+ days to get into a private person also. I'd also try to find someone who can give you a complete eval instead of one exam here and another exam there. I think it is better for someone to look at the child as a whole.

    http://ldonline.org/article/6027

  6. #6
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    Default Welcome and Hugs....

    My dd already had diagnosis when we moved her to public school last year (4th grade) and we also waited almost 2 months to get the school evals completed. The improvement in her work once she got the help she needed was like night and day. Your dd will not be too far behind.

    If you have an opportunity to get a private evaluation from a dev. ped. or other expert through insurance I would recommend it in the interim. It will help in your discussions with the school about any accomodations your dd might need. Our dd gets resource aid and has classroom/testing accomodations which are geared toward her specific needs.

    BIG HUGS
    Charlotte
    Morgan (10.5) ASD/ADHD

  7. #7
    Christine S Guest

    Default Hi Lorraine...so glad you made it over here.

    Have you had a conference with her teacher about this yet? Even with the eval process not finished you can still formulate a plan with her teacher to help your dd get this work done.

    As I posted on the PSAK bb you can ask about limiting homework time. We also have accomodations for spelling - no marking off written work for spelling (unless of course it's a spelling test!). I'm sort of at a loss with the spelling issues thus far, but hoping Ame's teacher can help there. With the math, ask the teacher for other methods to help her learn. I do a lot of this with Tobin. Trying to utilize ALL his senses when he gets a lesson. If you know how your dd learns (visual, auditory, through touch) then you can better help her. Make sure she is taking things ONE step at a time. We have had to literally BLOCK OFF steps 2, 3, 4, etc so Ame could start at step 1 on a project. If there are big school projects that she had trouble with at school, see if she can bring some of it home to work on.

    I think if you make it known to her teacher that you are more than willing to help, the teacher will give you whatever you need to make that happen. We did get most of our accomodations last year w/o a 504. This year we asked for a 504 to have the legal tracking, plus we are asking for some accomodations for state tests as well and that's a bit trickier.

    It might be a long shot, but you can always ASK for a 504 now because she is having difficulty. Our school has been great about it (even though you'll read here that most are NOT so good, it won't hurt to ask).

    C

  8. #8
    anniemc2000 is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default No advice but hugs

    I am finding this time of year crazy- I just keep hoping it will get easier!
    Ann

  9. #9
    angeleena is offline INCIIDer - A Community Creator
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    Default I would take her to a developmental Ped

    We did not even need a referral to take our dd to a dev ped. Our insurance covered it because they knew how to bill it so that it was not anything like autism, which is apparently not covered! (We live in the state with the highest number of autistic kids in america too)
    So, the dev ped will figure out what is going on, and the best way to work on it.

    I think you are doing a great job as a parent by just asking these questions and trying to find help.

    Big hugs!
    -angi
    ella SPD (SID), OCD?, and ?
    age 3

  10. #10
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    Default My ped actually did give me a lead on a dev. ped...

    That was about all the help she offered. I'm still surprised she was not more on top of this.

    Thanks--I will follow up on that lead, and I bet it would be covered by our insurance. Every little bit of information is useful to me at this point!

    Lorraine

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