The International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc

Miracles and Memories Pins

Miracles and Memories Pin

Miracles and Memories PinConsider the first and ONLY family-building INCIID Miracles and Memories pin for yourself, your family and friends - or if you are a reproductive endocrinology and infertility clinic or a patients who might want to provide them to your extended family members or to friends. INCIID was the first to come out with a pin covering all aspects of family-building.

Providing these particularly during "parenting" holidays (Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day etc.) can be supportive and helpful to those struggling to build their family. For thousands of reproductively challenged couples, the holidays can be a difficult time, as their only wish is to have a family of their own. If you are a doctor caring for patients,  INCIID is asking you to give out “Miracles and Memories” family-building pin to show patients and staff in a small but caring way that you support efforts to build a family. The idea is to build awareness and support for INCIID, a non-profit organization, providing scholarships for couples with infertility diagnoses as well as support and information on family building options. If you are a patient, or the family of a patient struggling with fertility, pregnancy loss or making the decision to adopt - Miracles and Memories Pins can provide added support.

Because INCIID is a non-profit organization, it relies solely on donations and contributions to maintain the success of the “From INCIID the Heart” scholarship program.  The INCIID team has created “Memories and Miracles” pins. INCIID is asking  couples, doctors, family members to donate just $25 to increase infertility awareness while at the same time providing a tax deductible donation to increase awareness and in support of creating a family.

The pins are packaged in a small clear plastic baggy attached to a white card that explains representation of each color on the pin and that pins support INCIID’s work and the IVF Scholarship.

The MAM (Miracles & Memories) Family-Building Pin :

Download the Bulk order form (for bulk orders of 100 or more pins) including a photo of the Miracles and Memories (MAM) pins



Membership Levels

INCIID Annual Giving Helps INCIID Help Members

For membership information or questions, please contact us

INCIID contributing members are vital to continue and support the infertility, pregnancy loss and adoption community. These supporting contributions are critical to INCIID's ability to continue offering programs and support services to our community. The most common membership level is the Bronze Level. Bronze level members give $55 annually. Please donate at whatever level you are most comfortable with. INCIID members can help sustain us with annual memberships or monthly contributions at any contribution level.

INCIID depends on consumer donations and professional membership donations.



Miracles & Memories Pin Colors and the Meaning

The Miracles and Memories (MAM) ribbon campaign is a global effort to unite all who have struggled with family-building whether that be through infertility, pregnancy loss, or adoption. Each color in the ribbon symbolizes the struggles of men and women everywhere: The Pink symbolizes a soft demeanor but one strong in a sense of justice. It also represents vulnerability. The White incorporates the qualities of all the other colors. It symbolizes innocence and purity that brings with it peace and comfort even in death. White is the color of spirituality, rarity and uniqueness. It symbolizes our unity and compassion; for a child, a loss, possibly a life yet to be lived; one’s fertility or an adoption or pregnancy yet to be realized. Blue is the color of communication and philosophy. The baby-blue in the ribbon symbolizes the desire to have a family. It embraces a deep feeling of love and affection and a compassion for others suffering through the loss of a pregnancy or their fertility. It symbolizes the true blue loyalty and commitment. It empowers us to stand with others and support them. It promotes group unity. 


Kris Cicak Guest Book

In Memory of Kris Cicak, INCIID Volunteer Coordinator
To sign the guest book Click Here




The enormity of this family's ongoing loss leaves one speechless - I trust that Lisa and Kris's daughter will continue to be raised with the love and grace that brought her and her sister into this world. The heartache seems limitless and the questions infinite - with profound sadness Liz


To Jenae and Kris' family--

I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to you all.  Kris was a very special woman with incredible strength and courage.  She was an inspiration to many of us here at INCIID, and she was the most devoted of mothers.  I hope you will find comfort in your memories of her and wish you the very best during this difficult time.  Nancy (nwnj)


I've been a member for 7 years.  Many of us have shared our most private moments with each other that we would never have done with even a family member.  Kris, I will miss you.  You and the women here have been my backbone through it all.  God Bless you forever. Marrand


May you rest in peace Kris.  I always loved to see you post about Jenae and I love that I share your daughter's name.


God bless your family,




Kris, you were a wonderful and caring woman and will be missed greatly.  May your family keep your spirit alive and thriving through your beautiful daughter Jenae.

Rest in Peace.

Jeni - knightzoo BB02


I'm struggling with the right words to say. I've "known" Kris for many years. I write that in quotations because we never had the opportunity to meet in person. We both were volunteers with Inciid. There aren't many people who would give so selflessly of their time, patience, knowledge, and understanding. Kris did this every single day and never complained. She was a kind and generous woman. May you always be comforted by the memories that others share of the beautiful person she was.

My deepest sympathy,

stacers (Inciid screenname)

You were there for me when I was struggling with infertility years ago, and were always ready to offer a supportive email, post, kind word, and hug over the internet.  You always kept in touch, and were there to share the fun, exciting times as well as the sad.  Thank you.  May you rest in peace.  We will miss you.

Comfort and peace to Jenae and your family, and know that we keep you in our prayers. 




This just breaks my heart. It's so sad for all. May Kris rest in peace. Babyluv


I remember when she lost her friend and baby. She has had a lot to deal with. May she rest in peace. I will be praying for the little girl. Gayler


Inciid has truly lost a wonderful person. My heart is so saddened to hear of this and it breaks for that sweet little girl. Kris helped me get started as an I Host here and I was always so impressed that she was able to continue her duties even after her family's terrible loss.

Rest in peace Kris, you will be missed.



I will never ever forget Kris. She was a wonderful person and I liked her very much (even though I can't say we were ever close) I never thought that I could find people on the Internet that meant something to me...until I found INCIID after I lost Zane. It was unbelievable how strangers would open their hearts to me and feel my pain.

Through the years (omg---lots of years now) that I've been on INCIID, many people and their stories have touched my heart. I am truly felt for so many.

I will never forget the day that I read about Kris and her (at that

point) DH and child dying in a car accident. I cried--at work. I'd never even "spoken" to Kris but the situation touched me so deeply. I immediately went out, bought the prettiest sympathy card I could find and sent it to her.

Kris was nothing if not WONDERFUL to me always. If I asked her something, she answered. If I needed something, she provided.

If we are going to do something for Jenae, for Kris, please PLEASE let me know. I feel totally terrible that I haven't emailed her in SO long.

INCIID, heck THE WORLD, has lost a wonderful person. The only good thing is that we KNOW where she is---and she is in a much better place. Dolores


To Jenae and all of Kris’ family,
I was so very sorry to hear about Kris. She was a very special woman who meant a lot to those of us who worked with her at INCIID and all those whose lives she touched there by volunteering. I will always remember her as a kind and gentle soul. She will truly be missed by friends around the world.

Sending you prayers of God’s comfort and strength, 

I remember so clearly reading Kris's post on INCIID about the car wreck and losing her precious Lisa and Jess.   I know that she is with them now, and they will always be guardian angels to you.  You could tell by her posts that she loved you sooooo much. She was a very special person, and I know you will always carry that with you in your heart. Julie


May peace find you quickly. Your spirit and life have touched many.



I didn't "know" Kris, but having been a part of INCIID since 1998, I knew and followed her story.  I felt so bad for her when she lost Lisa and her other daughter.  And I admired her courage and strength in keeping on.  How awful this all is for Jenae.  I hope she finds peace and solace in her mother's memory.



I hope you are in peace, forever reunited with Lisa and Jess. God Bless Jenae.



Dear Jenae,


For one so young you have suffered so much loss.  My love and prayers are with you and those closest to you, as you all navigate your way through these early days. 

Rest in peace, Kris.  Reunited with Lisa and Jessalyn, where together you can watch over Jenae. 



Julie in Australia


Sweet Jenae and family,

Words, however kind, can't mend your heartache: but those who care and share your loss wish you comfort and peace of mind. May you find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace of friends.

Deepest Sympathy

Jodi Gooding


Wow, I am so sorry about Kris' passing. It's hard to understand something so senseless and tragic.

May Kris rest in peace with Lisa and Jessalyn. My thoughts and prayers go out to Jenae and the rest of their families.



Oh, gosh, I am so sad to hear of this. I had no idea. Kris and I have not had a lot of contact for long time, but we used to years ago. She had so much tragedy in her life. No-one should die that young.

I am so sad for Jenae.

I can't believe how shocked and upset I am to read this.

May she rest in peace.



This is just so tragic! Thoughts and prayers going out to Jenae and the family. Such sadness for everyone. Rho


No words can dissolve or dissipate your grief, little one.  May your memories never fade of your mommy Kris, just as she worked so hard during her life to keep the memories of Lisa and Jess alive in you.  God's purpose in this tragedy is not clear now, but I pray your heart and life will be open and consoled when that clarity comes.  God and His angels watch over you, comfort you, and give you and your family strength.  I hope you always know that you, little one, have brought so many smiles to friends you never knew you had though the cyber-community you and Kris shared.  You now have thousands of mommies you will probably never meet or know, who will be keeping you in prayer and in our hearts daily.  I will be one of them and will remember you and Kris always and be thankful I *knew* you both from the day you were born! 


Cindi and Trinity Noelle (11-02-02)

La Jolla, CA


To Kris's family and friends,

My heart goes out to all of you. How tragic after all she's been through with Jenae.

My heart just breaks.



I am just devastated to hear of Kris' passing, and wish Jenae and her family much peace and comfort in the days ahead. 



aka spongeann


I cried along with you regarding Lisa and Jess and admired you for the love and kindness you bestowed on Janae.  I remembered your posts regarding how to get past this and the depth of emotion you felt for surviving the accident.  My heart ached for you.

I too have had some horrid struggles but you showed such grace and strength it helped me to stand strong on my own two feet and I thank you.

May heaven be what you had hoped and may Janae know that she was made from love and always will be loved.


You will be missed.


Jodi K


So sad to hear of this devastating news! I cant not imagine the pain for those left to pick up the peices and go on without her physical presence. Her loving memory will be held by all who knew her. Glad she had the 4 years to instill a bit of herself in her daughter. God bless you and keep you Kris!!!

I am sure Kris, Lisa and their daugher are at peace together.    Robin




In Memory of Kris Cicak

Kris Cicak, INCIID's volunteer coordinator for a number of years, passed away on 9-12-07 after a brief illness. Kris came to INCIID as many do, struggling with building her family. She gave so much more than she took for herself. The world was a better place for having her in it. She will be greatly missed by family, friends and all who loved her.

Funeral Services are being held Tuesday 12-18-07, at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Port St. John, Florida.

Many of you have inquired about doing something for Kris Cicak's family, especially her four-year-old daughter, Jenae. If you want to contribute financially directly to Jenae, please send a check made out to James Cicak, Jenae's guardian. Send the checks to INCIID, Inc. PO Box 6836, Arlington, VA 22206 and we will make sure they get to the family right away.
Do share your personal stories in support of the family by signing the virtual guest book here.

North Brevard Funeral is handling the details of the funeral.

Kris believed in organization which helped other people. She particularly believed in hospice care. So the family requests (in lieu of flowers) for the funeral, donations be sent to Hospice of St. Francis, Inc. (a nonprofit organization:  
When you send a contribution to them, please be sure to let them know the donation is given in the name of Kris Cicak.

Hospice of St. Francis, Inc.
(In Memory of Kris Cicak) 
1250-B Grumman Place 
Titusville, Florida 32780

321.269.4240 (local)
866.269.4240 (toll free)
321.269.5428 (fax)

Do share your personal stories and support the family by signing the virtual guest book here.



Volunteer with INCIID

In Memory of Kris Cicak
Kris Cicak was a dedicated volunteer for many years. She passed away on 9-12-07 after a brief illness. Read about her here.


Kris Cicak Guest Book
Please sign the guest book for Kris Cicak, INCIID Volunteer Coordinator, who passed away 9-12-07 after a brief illness. She will be greatly missed.


Become a virtual volunteer with INCIID.



Donors and Contributors Thank You

A Special Thank You to our Generous 2007 Donors and Contributors
INCIID truly appreciates the generosity from each and every individual donor. Your gifts are keeping programs like the INCIID Heart IVF Scholarship working for those who are building their families. This year we have had more than 10 babies conceived and born within the program. Thank you for providing a gift of life to those who struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss.


A Special Thank You to our Generous 2006 Donors and Contributors
INCIID wishes to express its gratitude to the many individual contributors that help us throughout the year.



Privacy Statement

1. Privacy Statement of INCIID, Inc., a Virginia corporation operating the website --- . INCIID regards the privacy and security of user information as a critical and significant component of the service that we offer to our users. (Please see also our Legal Disclaimer)


2. Registration. All information on our site may be freely read. However, if you want to participate on any of the interactive areas of INCIID, you will be required to register. At the time of registration, you may be prompted by our registration forms to provide certain personal information to us, including your name, city, state, zip, contact number, and email address. In order to further protect the privacy of our registered members, both former and current, we ask that you not publicly inquire about them on the forums, but instead email your inquiry directly and privately to that member.


3. Registration Data. We use Registration Data to for demographic information and sometimes to send you information about INCIID and our services. We also use it to help us understand what our community needs and wants so we can provide it. The information we gather is kept strictly confidential and is generically used in preparation for funding proposals to potential sponsors. In other words, your personal information will never be released to anyone for any marketing or solicitation purpose. The only situations in which INCIID will release personal information about any participant on our site is when that individual has violated the of use within our electronic forums to the point where authorities are contacted. This would include but not be limited to incidents of spamming, illegal sale or distribution of prescription medications, personal attacks on other participants, or threats of bodily harm to self or others. We also use this demographic information to help tailor our website to the needs of our "niche" community.


4. Links to other websites. INCIID can not be held responsible for the privacy practices or the content of the referring websites or sites linked to INCIID. You should be careful to review any privacy policies of such other organizations before registration at their respective web sites.


5. Cookies. Part of the INCIID registration process will involve placing a "Cookie" on your computer. This is necessary so that the INCIID site can "recognize" you when you log onto a bulletin board or chat room. As previously stated, the ONLY purpose for which this information will be used is recognition. No other Internet site can use the cookie placed on your computer by INCIID. Cookies are pieces of information that a web site transfers to your computer's hard disk for record-keeping purposes. Cookies do not personally identify users. INCIID uses cookies to log you in and out of our bulletin boards.


6. Summary. Except as provided in this Privacy Policy, no data or information which personally identifies you will be shared with anyone. Some of your information may be shared on a collective basis only, as a part of a larger set of statistics (for example, statistics that indicate the percentage of traffic frequenting certain bulletin boards or geographic areas).


7. Contact. If you have any questions regarding this Privacy Policy, the practices of, or your dealings with our web site, please contact us at: INCIID, Inc. 5765 F Burke Centre Parkway, Box 330, Virginia 20124 Tel: (703) 379-9178 FAX: (703) 379-1593 Modification of the INCIID Privacy Policy: INCIID reserves the right to change or update this Privacy Policy at any time.


Ways to Support INCIID

Ways you can contribute to INCIID


• Donate online (  with an electronic Check , Through Paypal or by a Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Discover Credit Cards
• Fax your contribution to (703) 379-1593 
• Call in your contribution (703) 379-9178

When you donate, be sure to check with your employer benefits department to see if your employer has a Matching Program. This means your tax deductible donation to INCIID is matched dollar to dollar by your employer and sent to INCIID.



Other Ways to Help Supplement INCIID


Food Lion Shop & Share Program
If you shop for groceries at Food Lion, you can register your MVP card in the Shop and Share Program at or by calling 1-704-633-8250 extension 3810. 
Choose INCIID as your charity of choice, and a percentage of all Food Lion purchases you make will come back to INCIID, as long as you use you registered MVP card each time you shop.


Give through the United Way

INCIID gets many United Way contributions throughout the year through a write in process. Check with your employer to see if your company will allow you to write in a designee for your contribution, you can write us in as follows:

(Full Name is --- The InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc.) 
PO Box 6836 Arlington, Virginia 22206
Shop at Amazon. 
Click on any of the Amazon links throughout the INCIID Website as well as using the Amazon search engine.


Shop the INCIID Store Front

Purchase apparel and merchandise that helps support the INCIID mission.
Recently INCIID Volunteers put together a fund-raiser cookbook with some great recipes. 
Please visit our shop for more details.


American Express Membership Rewards
If you are an American Express cardholder and you would like to donate Membership Rewards points to INCIID visit , and search for InterNational Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc., In Arlington, Virginia. 
Follow the directions to donate. You can use this form to donate money or to contribute your membership rewards points. 
Points can help us with travel expenses etc.
INCIID is a 501 (c) 3 incorporated in the Commonwealth of Virginia


Guidelines and Terms of Service for Use

Welcome to INCIID. To fully utilize all we offer and to keep our community harmonious and safe, the following terms of use have been established. It is your responsibility as a productive community member to follow these guidelines. If for any reason you do not agree to the terms of use, please do not register or utilize any of INCIID programs or services. When you register or use INCIID, you agree to the following:

1.  We value your privacy. Registration information is NEVER sold or even seen by anyone but INCIID staff and then only for database maintenance. Truthful application with verifiable information is part of the agreement you make when you apply to interact on our forums. False or incomplete application information is grounds for account suspension. INCIID has a very strict privacy policy.

2.  Emails, Newsletter, Blasts etc: INCIID is a 501 c 3 nonprofit organization. We support ourselves through donations, a small amount of advertising, sponsorships and contributions. When you press that submit button and become a registered member, you are AGREEING to also receive the member benefits including an occasional email blast and/or the monthly newsletter. This agreement is a very basic way to support the community. So when you press the submit button, you agree to these TOS (Terms of Service). When you unsubscribe from the newsletters and blasts, you unsubscribe yourself from the community with any/all those community privileges including (but not limited) to the IVF Scholarship program, interacting with other members and professional volunteers, access to studies etc. This is a small request that helps us with sponsors so we can keep programs, the website and other resources flowing to consumers who need them.

3.  All INCID registered members are automatically added to our email blast "INCIID Community Newsletter". This is the method we use to communicate with past and present community members. You will stay on this list until you ask to be removed from the interactive community by writing to us through the INCIID contact form.

4.  Post only appropriate messages or material.Members will not upload, post, email or otherwise transmit any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;

5.  Respectful behavior is manatory at all times.Members will not impersonate any person or entity, including, but not limited to, an INCIID official, forum leader, guide or host, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity;

6.  Members are limited to one account. Any member who is found to have duplicate accounts will have all accounts suspended immediately.  There are exceptions made on a case-by-case basis. Contact INCIID with your request and reasons.   In this situation the members needs to contact INCIID Administration to explain their need for a second account.  This account will be issued for a short length of time only.

7.  Email. Members will not forge headers or otherwise manipulate identifiers in order to disguise the origin of any Content transmitted through INCIID. If at anytime your email address bounces, your account will be suspended until email is working.

8.  Members will not solicit: Advertising commercial or personal web sites on INCIID boards or chat rooms for purposes of driving traffic or selling products is prohibited.More

9.  Selling or Exchanges. Members will not sell, give away, or otherwise initiate the exchange of prescription drugs. Accounts may be suspended indefinitely. (More)

10. Electronic transmition. Members will not upload, post, email or otherwise transmit any content that you do not have a right to transmit under any law;

11. Copyright Etc.. Members will not upload, post, email or otherwise transmit any content that infringes any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights ("Rights") of any party; upload, post, email or otherwise transmit any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, promotional materials, "junk mail," "spam," "chain letters," "pyramid schemes," or any other form of solicitation.

12. Spam --- (More on Spam)

13. Use appropriate headers in messages. Members will utilize the appropriate forums and headers for any posts --- (more)

14. Members will post with care. They will not upload, post, email or otherwise transmit any material that contains software viruses or any other computer code, files or programs designed to interrupt, damage, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment;

15. Members will respect the community. They will not disrupt the normal flow of dialogue, or otherwise act in a manner that negatively affects other users' ability to engage in real time exchanges;

16. Members will maintain confidentiality of their account password. This is not for use by other members. You account is to be used only by YOU, and ONLY you. You alone are fully responsible for your account.

17. Cross Posting. Members are discouraged from cross posting over various boards. (More)   

18. Medical forums are moderated by professionals. As such we ask these forums be reserved for Q&A between professionals and community members. Members will post only medical/professional questions to moderators on the professional or medical boards. These boards are for education and not necessarily for support. There should be a "support" board for each medical area in the community.(more)

19. Keep personal information private. The Internet is a public venue. Members will not post personal information (more)

Respect the job the volunteers and staff do. There should be no public debates on INCIID Policy and/or Decisions (more)

20. Donations are non refundable after they are processed.  Donations are automated through a secure internet gateway. Please be sure to check and recheck your form. You can discontinue a donation at anytime BEFORE it is processed. Once a donation is processed they are not refundable. Annual donations are processed each year and are automated. Monthly donations are also automated through the Internet gateway. If you have any questions or want to cancel a monthly or annual donation pledge, please email us  Donation cancellations must be in writing either via email or by FAX (703) 379-1593. We will acknowledge your cancellation as soon as we process it. Please keep the acknowledgement for your records. If you do not receive acknowledgement, you need to email usto be sure it was received. ALL donations, refunds and/or cancellations are acknowledged within 24-48 hours after they are received. Be sure to give us your user name and full name as well as contact information so we can find your record easily.

21.  Administrative Time outs - please read.


Please Post with Respect Toward Yourselves and Others:

INCIID and the I Hosts reserve the right to pull any notes that appear to violate our guidelines. This includes, but is not limited to: misinformation, name-calling, gossip, foul language or abusive behavior toward other members, volunteers or staff.  INCIID's mission is to educate and disseminate information, as well as to provide a forum for support. Discussions or comments that do not support that mission will be pulled and may result in the suspension or permanent revocation of posting/chatting privileges.  Assuming an additional user name for the explicit purpose of posting provocative messages or harassing community members is a blatant violation of our guidelines and will not be tolerated. Such blatant or continued violations will be pursued through the offending poster's Internet Service Provider. When registering to participate in Chat and/or Interactive Forums, it is understood you are agreeing to abide by these Guidelines.

We recognize that in a community the size of INCIID's, there will be members who do not get along. However, public displays of animosity in chat and on our forums are unacceptable and disruptive to our mission of support. Participants who cannot communicate in a civil, respectful manner will be asked to leave. Please do not engage in a discussion that is destined to degenerate into an inappropriate exchange on our support forums.

If you feel a discussion is not appropriate, please contact INCIID immediately with "Problem Alert" as the topic of your email message. Please do not add your own commentary or engage the posters in further dialogue as this generally escalates the problem.

Please Respect the Privacy of Individuals.

This means no posting of personal phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private or identifying information. You MAY post the business phone number or address of a doctor referral so others may contact him/her at his office for an appointment. Remember, no matter how intimate and private you think your conversations may be, the Internet and the World Wide Web are PUBLIC places where millions of people gather.

Please do not share someone else’s experiences or stories without their permission. If you feel someone would benefit from another member's experience, either email that person and direct them to the post they could help with, or direct the poster to the board that the experienced member now posts on.

Posting email sent from another member without their permission is also not permitted.

Use of Photographs on INCIID

You may not post copyrighted photographs on INCIID. When submitting a photograph to INCIID, you represent and warrant that the photograph(s) provided are owned by you and by submitting the photograph(s) to INCIID, agree to transfer all rights in the photograph(s), including copyright, to INCIID. You also agree to indemnify INCIID against any claim, demand, or recovery finally sustained in any proceedings brought against INCIID on account of INCIID's use/publication of the photograph(s) by reason of any violation of proprietary right or copyright

In posting photographs on the Internet, you must understand and acknowledge that many different people use the Internet and that INCIID does not know who will visit its site or how the information on its website will be used. So in posting photos you agree to assume all liability for any claims, loss, or injury of whatsoever nature arising out of INCIID’s use(s) of the picture(s) of your child/children that you submit, including but not limited to posting the picture(s) on INCIID’s website.


Privacy Policy

INCIID will endeavor to maintain the privacy of your personal information (name, email address, etc.) provided to us at registration. Situations in which INCIID might release personal information about any participant on our site are when that individual has violated the rules of use or is considered to be a danger to self or others. This would include but not be limited to: incidents of spamming, illegal sale or distribution of prescription medications, personal attacks on other participants or threats of bodily of harm to self or others.  We also ask that you not post information for or about others who do not have a current INCIID account.  Please be sure to read the full INCIID Privacy Policy here. Remember to check back frequently for changes and updates.

Abusive or Obscene Messages:

Please do not "fan the flames" by responding to abusive or obscene messages. Instead, please contact INCIID, and we will review the problem messages quickly. Severe, repeat or multiple violations will be reported to the violator's ISP (Internet Service Provider).

Crossposting to Multiple Bulletin Boards

Please refrain from crossposting as it is considered highly inappropriate and rude. To broadcast your message to a selection of the INCIID bulletin board groups merely to have more people read it is not considered good netiquette. Note also that many people automatically ignore articles posted to more than two or three groups. Often, even when an article is appropriate for multiple boards, it is desirable to redirect all follow-up discussion into one particular bulletin board. Please respect the INCIID community and do NOT crosspost.

Please Reserve Medical Boards for Medical Questions & Answers:

Because our experts are volunteering their time and effort to answer questions on our boards, we request that chit-chat, requests for support and prayer chains be limited to support boards. Messages that are we feel are inappropriately posted on medical boards will be removed.When posting a message on a medical board, please be sure to make sure you are posting in the most appropriate forum.

If Your Medical Board Question is Missed, Please Repost It:

Please remember that those responding to your questions are VOLUNTEERS who are donating their time and talents. If your note is missed, please don't reprimand them --- simply repost your note! Notes complaining or reprimanding our experts will be removed. If you have a complaint about an INCIID Expert, send it via email to . All such correspondence is confidential.

No Prescription Medication Sales

Only those licensed to prescribe and dispense medications may sell these drugs. It is INCIID's belief that the sale of prescription medications through unknown sources via the Internet is dangerous. INCIID strongly advises against such practices. Posts suggestive of buying, loaning, selling, or donating such drugs or other prescription devices will be removed immediately. We will also be pulling posts that ask for medications or ask for information on how to go about obtaining medications from an unlicensed source. The violation will also be referred to the FDA and the appropriate administrator for the violator's ISP (Internet Service Provider).

No Solicitation or Advertising:

Advertising commercial or personal web sites on INCIID boards or chat rooms for purposes of driving traffic or selling products (including links to auction sites) is prohibited. Anything construed as an advertisement will be pulled, including messages regarding donor gametes, infertility products or services and adoption services.  Links posted to sites that mimic INCIID or duplicate INCIID's support and information services in the areas of family building, pregnancy loss, pregnancy and parenting are prohibited—this includes individual mailing lists set up by INCIID members. Individuals who believe they have sites with valuable services for INCIID consumers, including notice of seminars or events, may request, in writing, permission to post a link from our forums. INCIID reserves the right to refuse any such requests. INCIID has a liberal policy toward other incorporated, 501(c)3 nonprofit organizations that have advisory panels with the appropriate expertise.

The following kinds of links are not considered advertising and may be posted without seeking permission:

  • Links to photos meant to be shared with other forum participants;
  • Links to personal web pages which detail a personal story or exhibit photos;
  • Links to sites which host "lists" of INCIID participants provided all those listed have specifically requested inclusion.   An example of an approved site would be a webpage set up for the members of the “Pregnant, due January Board”.   It does not include posting about a mailing list set up for members of the board.

INCIID also prohibits posts soliciting information or data from INCIID members for use in articles or research papers without prior permission from INCIID.  Please request, in writing, permission to post such requests.  Approved requests for information will be posted by INCIID administrators to assure that all guidelines are followed.

If in doubt, please e-mail us at and include a link to the site you are interested in promoting.

Spamming our participants via email:

INCIID has gone to great lengths to ensure the privacy of its participants. While individual participants may e-mail each other to ask for clarification about a procedure or topic, the e-mail addresses are scrambled to protect the recipient's privacy. The only way a spammer can get your actual e-mail address is if you respond via e-mail. It is our belief that this "scrambling process" makes it too difficult for most spammers to pursue visitors on the INCIID site. "Spam" is any unsolicited e-mail promoting a product, site or activity.

However, there have been incidents where our participants have been "spammed." If you are the victim of such spam, we encourage you to NOT respond to the offensive e-mail, but to forward it directly to We will cancel the accounts of people who abuse our e-mail mechanisms to make unrequested solicitations of our participants, and will report overt offenses of standard netiquette to the offender's ISP.

Posting Guidelines:

Pregnancy Chatter

ALL FORUMS EXCEPT PREGNANCY/PARENTING:Everyone is encouraged to make an announcement of their pregnancy on the message boards where they normally travel and post. Out of respect to the other members of the board, you are allowed the posting of one positive home pregnancy test result and one beta result. After these have been posted, updates need to be moved to one of the pregnancy boards to the Back Fence. The only exception to this rule will be falling betas. Any beta number too low to be conclusive, or if you have a strong beta but then the numbers fall, you certainly may seek the support from your Room friends and post that there is an update on another board. Second beta numbers ARE allowed if the first one is inconclusive (for our purposes we are considering any initial beta of less than 50 to be ‘inconclusive’).

Any questions regarding beta numbers or requests for success stories are NOT appropriate on the support forums and pregnancy "chatter" (no matter how serious the discussion may be) is forbidden. These questions should be posted on the Beta Board or one of the pregnancy forums. Any posts requesting information regarding specific experiences or information in pregnancy will be pulled immediately.

We also ask that you ONLY post that there is an update on the Beta Board or Back Fence when someone asks you how you're doing. Any "unsolicited" updates will be pulled immediately. If someone should ask how you're doing, refer them to your post in the appropriate forum, and TAKE THE DISCUSSION there.  We also ask you refrain from posting information about your success as ‘inspiration’ for those still building their family.  While your intention is provide hope, these posts are actually heart-wrenching reminders of their failures. 

While we understand that sometimes we need the encouragement of hearing of other successes, requests for these stories do not belong on Infertility Forums.  These posts will be pulled immediately and they should be reposted on the pregnancy or parenting boards.

Please remember that the Grief and Loss Board is considered an Infertility Forums, and posts should be adhering to those guidelines.  Now that INCIID has both the Pregnancy After Loss and Parenting After Loss these are the appropriate forums for discussing any concerns relating to pregnancy and parenting issues and how they relate to your loss.  Any discussions of pregnancy or parenting issues will be pulled immediately.

The infertility boards are supposed to be the one little corner of the world that is a safe haven where those who are struggling with infertility can come and not be assaulted by details of pregnancy and the joys of babies. It is NORMAL for all of us struggling with infertility to have "those days" where hearing about someone ELSE'S success can send you straight down the deep dark hole of depression. This doesn't mean they aren't happy for YOU, it just means they are so sad for THEMSELVES.   If you have any questions whether your post is appropriate, please email the I Host for that forum rather than post the question on the boards.  Sometimes something as simple as a question can be heartbreaking for others as well.

The one exception to this guideline is on our General Infertility board. We currently have no place for those with tentative pregnancies to find the medical answers they need, so medical questions directed to the Reproductive Endocrinologists who share responsibility for our General Infertility Board are permitted. These questions should be limited to those that would normally be asked of a reproductive endocrinologist in the first weeks of pregnancy---usually through the ultrasound visualization of a heartbeat (questions regarding pregnancy after this point should be directed to the High Risk Pregnancy Forum).   However, we ask that these discussions stay focused on the medical aspects of the pregnancy and do not digress to personal conversations.

PARENTING FORUMS: The guidelines for announcing and discussing your pregnancy on the Parenting Forums are the same as those for the Infertility Forums. 

Certainly, there are going to be times when it's appropriate to mention your pregnancy in the context of parenting---but pregnancy "discussions" belong on the pregnancy boards.  If you are mentioning your pregnancy, "PG Mentioned" belongs in the header. Leave the DETAILS inside the post so that readers aren't blindsided by your story.  The parenting boards are certainly the place to post those questions that can only be answered by women who have already been through a pregnancy and delivery, such as those regarding pregnancy experiences or labor and delivery. Just please remember that many parents with "only children" still struggle with the fact that there won't be any more pregnancies for them.

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine if your post follows the guidelines. The rule of thumb is that discussions about how the pregnancy is affecting your PARENTING are fine--- Such as, "Susie always wants to be on the go, but I am so tired. Any ideas for keeping her occupied?" Discussions about the PREGNANCY itself belong on the pregnancy forums-"I am just so tired all the time" are not. If you can remove the mention of the pregnancy and still have something to talk about (in this example, you can still talk about Susie) then it should pass the guidelines test.  Simply put, as yourself if there is a board specifically for the question you are asking.  If so, go use it.

In this world of Huggies commercials, Gerber Baby Food coupons and a holiday season of cherubic children on Santa's lap at the mall, let's please take special care to remember how rough the world can be for those who are left out of the babyhood celebration. First and foremost, INCIID is committed to protecting the most vulnerable members. ANY POSTS IN VIOLATION OF THIS GUIDELINE WILL BE PULLED IMMEDIATELY.

Adoption Chatter

Guidelines for Adoption Chatter are similar to those of Pregnancy Chatter. Please do not post details of your adoption on the infertility forums. If asked about your adoption, please refer them to the Back Fence or one of the Adoption Forum boards and take the discussion there.

Trying to Conceive Chatter

It is not appropriate to post polls on the parenting boards about who is trying to conceive, what their status is, etc.  If you wish to catch up with your friends and their status in regards to trying to conceive, please post a poll on the Back Fence and include a link on the parenting board (with the proper header of course).

If someone asks about your status of trying to conceive, please provide them with a link to your update on one of our many TTC boards or cafes.

Birth Announcements

You are welcome to post one birth announcement on the Parenting Boards that you visit (besides the one for the child being announced).  This announcement should be a simple post (with correct headers) with a link to the appropriate Pregnancy forum.  All responses should be posted on the Pregnancy Forum.  Please refrain from posting announcements for other members unless specifically asked to, as announcements by others will count as the single permitted announcement.

Adoption Forums

Adoption can be just as stressful as infertility treatments. Some days are good, some days are extremely frustrating. The waiting can seem endless, and the dream of holding your child in your arms can seem so far away. Because all of this, we ask that you use the Parenting After Adoption board for any and all child chatter.

Please do not advertise for a potential adoptive parent for an available child. INCIID is not the place for potential birth mothers, lawyers, agencies, or well meaning members to post asking for any interested potential adoptive parents to email or contact them. Adoption laws vary from state to state, and what is legal and permissible in one state may not be in another. Also, the liability for such posts far exceeds what INCIID is willing to risk. Conversely, please do not advertise for a potential birth mother to contact you.

Proper Headers are Required

PG MENT: Is for all posts that mention a pregnancy, whether it is yours, a friend's, or just the concept of pregnancy. Do not post beta numbers or specific information about your pregnancy in your subject lines; instead post a general subject line with a warning of the content. Save the detail for the body of the message. (Not applicable in the pregnancy forums).

CHILD MENT: Is for all posts that mention a child, whether it is yours or not. Do not post milestones or specific information about your child in your subject lines; instead post a general subject line with a warning of the content. Save the detail for the body of the message. (Not applicable in the parenting/pregnancy forums and on the Secondary Infertility Board).

M/C MENT or LOSS MENT: Is for all posts that mention of a pregnancy that ended early or loss of child. (Not applicable on the miscarriage/grief and loss forums and Trying Again after Loss)

ADOPT MENT: Is for any post discussing a specificadoption. This does not include mentioning moving to adoption as an option. (Not applicable in the adoption forums).

SIB MENT: Is for when you are mentioning (or posting a picture of) a sibling in your post on Parenting forums that are age specific or when mentioning sibling(s) of Multiples on that forum.  As with the pregnancy chatter guidelines mentioned above, certainly, there are going to be times when it's appropriate to mention your other sibling(s) in the context of parenting but main subject of the post should be the child that ‘belongs’ to the forum you are posting.

Please remember that your signature line(s) is part of your post, and must meet the same requirements as the header and body of the post.  We will be pulling ANY posts that do not following posting guidelines. If your post is pulled you will receive an email explaining why your post was pulled. You are welcome to repost with the correct headers. Also, please remember that if you need to use a sensitive header, you should make sure your post is even appropriate for that forum.

Removed Posts:

There are a variety of reasons messages may be pulled from the INCIID bulletin boards. Here are the most common ones:

Inquiries about the buying and/or selling of drugs of any kind

Unapproved solicitations of information for articles, research papers, or other uses

Information about non-INCIID bulletin boards or mailing lists

Violations of the posting policy

Messages that appear to give medical advice by those other than INCIID appointed professionals

Congratulatory or other support messages on the INCIID medical support forums moderated by doctor volunteers. (These messages belong on the support bulletin boards.)

Too much text in the subject line which distorts the flow of the messages.

Commercial messages about products and services

Advertising products for sale on auction sites

Messages marketing egg or sperm donation including messages from potential donors looking for recipients

Flaming (subtle or otherwise)

Duplicate messages posted; accidental or intentional (spamming).

Your home address or phone number, or that of someone else was posted on the board

Information received in a private email without the author’s approval


Administrative Time-outs/Membership Suspensions:
On occasion things become heated and posters violate the guidelines. In this instance a poster may be given an administrative time.   Violations that might create need for an administrative time-out include, but are not limited to, personal attacks, flaming INCIID staff or volunteers, baiting other posters, or repeat violations of any of the stated guidelines.  Should these violations occur, the following is the progression of steps will be taken: 

First violations, receive warnings from an INCIID representative.

A second violation will result in a suspension

A third violation will be handled on a case-by-case basis.

INCIID will notify via email any poster who has received a time out within a reasonable amount of time. Arguing with any decision to give a time-out is a violation of TOS and cause for suspension of an account. 

INCIID reserves the right to revoke and terminate membership at their discretion.

INCIID welcomes all comments and suggestions on how to improve the quality and support offered by the boards. To make a suggestion, please contact INCIID.  We want to do everything possible (and practical) to ensure a positive, community-focused experience for all our members on INCIID, and feedback from posters and lurkers is central to that goal. We ask that you please bring any concerns or debates about our guidelines to us via email instead of on the support forums, as it distracts from the purpose of these boards. Posts that debate or criticize INCIID policies tend to only bring out the worst in people, and will be pulled immediately. 

Registering for membership and/or using the INCIID email system and/or using other of INCIID’s features constitutes agreement by the user with INCIID to abide by the INCIID guidelines and to abide by any and all future amendments to the guidelines. INCIID Guidelines are subject to change without notice.  Notification of these changes may be made through posts on individual Boards or by updating the TOS/Guidelines here.